How are you today? I'm superfantastic.

IMDb has nothing on us

I have the same four kids for first and second period, English and reading, back-to-back. They're my lowest kids and my kookiest group. I've taken to calling them The Fun Bunch.

All of the kids were nutty today, of course, with the break approaching, but The Fun Bunch was mostly just uncharacteristically grouchy. We had worked on our Standard having to do with procedural text (read: I printed out some coloring pages and then wrote step-by-step instructions on the board for how to color them. 1. Color the star yellow. 2. Color the bows blue, etc.) and then during second period, we watched A Muppets Christmas Special: Letters to Santa, courtesy of Hulu.

As is the case with many Muppets movies and specials, several legitimate stars have cameos. Uma Thurman, Nathan Lane, Jane Krakowski. And Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi's claim to fame turned out to be a bone of contention among The Fun Bunch.

Boy: She's from the AT&T commercial.

Girl: No, she's from Sesame Street.

Boy: And the yogurt commercial.

Girl: No, she's from SESAME STREET.

Me: She's from a lot of things.

Girl: SHE'S FROM SESAME STREET.

Me: Yep. Let's watch the movie.

I'm assuming that Whoopi Goldberg would be even less flattered to know that it was with much greater enthusiasm that the boy announced when a large, shaggy Muppet came on screen, "HE'S FROM MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND!" His classmate, in this case, wholeheartedly concurred.

Also courtesy of Hulu, another class is watching The Secret of NIMH. I remember very little about the movie except that it scared me a lot and I think I may have at one point also watched it on a film strip. My guys in that class don't seem scared, but they do like it so far. You never know, when presenting what is to them ye olden timey talkie film.

In a couple of classes, we're watching Wall-e. I hadn't seen it before and so far am really enjoying it. My question for those of you who have seen it is this: how long does the image of that fat man unable to get up after falling out of his flying chair continue to motivate you to get your butt up off the couch? Will I need to watch it monthly? Weekly? I might need to get my own copy since the one we're watching is borrowed. Or maybe they have that clip on YouTube. I'd check, but I'm kind ofOH NO IT'S WEARING OFF ALREADY.

And finally, I am doing my part, America, for our children's attention spans. When one kid asked me whether, while watching the movie, they could also play games on the laptops, I said no. In my day, we just watched. Unless we were the person responsible for advancing the film strip, in which case we also listened for the tone and turned the little knob. Uphill both ways in the snow. And so forth.

Kids These Days

Most of my students are considered economically disadvantaged. I got it in my head that maybe they might like a chance to do something charitable this holiday season, but it had to be in a way that didn't cost them or their parents any money.

The students can earn tickets in my class for good behavior. They get up to three tickets per class. Most of them have me twice a day, so theoretically, they can earn thirty tickets a week. The catch is, I often forget about giving out tickets. I told the kids that they're in charge of remembering about the tickets. If they leave without reminding me, they don't get them. That way, they can't complain about not having gotten them. Or trick me into giving them extra tickets by telling me that I forgot to give them out when I really didn't. Even special kids can figure out how to manipulate the absent-minded.

Anyway, all of that to say, the well-behaved kids probably get around twenty tickets a week. They tend to drop and otherwise lose things, so most come in closer to fifteen by Friday. On Fridays, they get to buy prizes with their tickets. Most of these come from the birthday party aisle and Target dollar spot. Pencils, erasers, stupid little toys, Mardi Gras beads, and other cheap crap.

So I decided that I'd give my students an opportunity to give by donating their tickets. I made some half-sheets that say "I'm using my tickets to give a $1 donation to Toys for Tots from:__________" The students could write their names on them and I'd hang them on the front bulletin board. I took a chance and put them in for ten tickets. That's pretty pricey as the prize box goes, so I figured if nobody bought any the first week, I'd knock it down to five tickets the next week. However many I got, I'd spend that much (plus however much more it took to buy something respectable) on a toy to donate.

That was a week and a half ago. I'm currently in to Toys for Tots for $17. I only have eighteen students.

Not everybody is participating. But that also means that some kids have bought multiple donations. Including my thinks-he's-a-tough-guy student. It's a lot more than I expected. I'm so glad that I gave them an opportunity to pleasantly surprise me, even if they are accomplishing that by donating a surprising amount of my money. 

Kids these days. Give 'em an inch, they'll find a way to give it to someone who needs it more. Apparently.

At least I'm pretty sure this is how it happened.

Interior, teaching program headquarters. Summer 2009.

PERSON ONE: We've already promised a 99% job placement rate when it was really closer to 50% and been totally unhelpful in finding a job.

PERSON TWO: And when she got her own job by doing the very thing that we told her not to do, we jacked up the tuition and put the payments closer together.

PERSON ONE: Don't forget how we promised a rigorous program and then delivered repetitive exercises and lots of making posters instead. And we stress strategic design of curriculum and differentiated instruction while slapping Special Education on the cover of a book that's clearly intended for general ed teachers.

PERSON TWO: I don't know, I think our job here might be done. I'm not sure it's possible to screw over Lori Graham anymore.

PERSON ONE: Surely there's something else we can do. Think!

Both sit silently, rubbing their chins and staring into the middle distance. Suddenly, Person Two jumps up.

PERSON TWO: I've got it! We move the required yet totally useless classes during the school year from Tuesday evenings to Saturday mornings. At eight o'clock!

PERSON ONE: You're a genius, Person Two! An evil, evil genius.

PERSON TWO: I know.

Diabolical laughter ensues. 

Exeunt.