Oooh, something shiny!
Posted September 22, 2005
So I'm pretty sure I have ADD. I haven't actually consulted a medical doctor about this. What if the doctor said I didn't have it and then I had no excuse for being absent-minded and directionless? No thank you mister med school.
Case in point: Saturday night.
3:30-5:29 Clean house. Aren't I a good and responsible roommate? Wouldn't you like to have a roommate like me? Well too bad because the house is full up, so back off!
5:30 Realize that I'm supposed to be at Amy's house in 20 minutes and have not dried hair or put on presentable clothes. Freak out.
5:31-5:50 Dry hair. Put on clean clothes. Apply make-up in slapdash manner. Put glasses back on because there is no time for contacts!
5:51-5:55 Get in car. Pull out of driveway. Drive 0.1 miles. Remember that drivers license is still in pocket of skirt worn out last night. Use foul language. Execute 3-point turn and drive back home.
5:56 Park in driveway. Realize am idiot. Dinner isn't until 6:30 and I have an extra half hour. Walk into house chanting get drivers license, get drivers license...
5:57 Reach bathroom and decide to use some of extra time to put in contacts.
5:59 Walk into bedroom. Have no idea what I went in there to get. See cute Paris picture frame sitting picture-less in pile of stuff on dresser and decide to use extra time to deal with European souvenir collection.
6:00-6:15 Put picture in frame. Get Swiss picture clippy thing and find picture for it. Remove old items from designated shelf on entertainment center and obsessively arrange and rearrange European souvenir items.
6:16 Realize am late again. Leave old shelf items on floor, grab purse and leave.
6:18 Exit neighborhood. Remember that license is still in skirt pocket! Use more foul language.
6:20 Pull back in driveway. Run to bedroom and extract license from skirt in dirty clothes pile. Call Amy to see if I'm now too late to stop at her house on the way to the restaurant. Be reassured that yes, we've met, so she was expecting me 10 minutes late. So I'm right on time.
Still don't think I have ADD, Dr. Smartypants?
lissa says:
September 22, 2005 at 02:39 PM
its okay i have diagnosed myself with dyslexia. and if the Dr. says no well then i have no excuse for have the reading capability of a 5 year old.
Katie says:
September 23, 2005 at 02:15 PM
Hilarious! Not only is this episode totally you (yes, we've met), I'm laughing at how you've written in the style of Dave Barry. Intentional?
PS--If you want attention that doesn't require people looking at you, I suggest removing the picture!
Amy says:
September 23, 2005 at 09:37 PM
YEAH!!!! I am famous. All this happened because you were all giddy for the concert we were going to!! I know you and yes I did expect that. That is what I like about you, unless of course we really can't be late and you are late!!!But other than that-- you are the best Lori I know!!!!