A post in which I do not discuss the swimming.
(except to point out that the style name of my new goggles is The Natator making me I suppose some sort of Nautical Terminator the same way that guy from Snap was the Lyrical Jesse James.)
Dear SBC Yahoo! DSL,
You might be the devil. We Three Blondes pay you PLENTY of our hard-earned money each month. (Seriously, one Blonde wrangles 22 second-graders for said money. Another does some sort of Scientific Things involving Math.) And yet, your Broadband Link light constantly flashes orange, mocking us with your stubborn refusal to do your one and only job and our total powerlessness to make you.
Before you, I had dial-up. It was slow, but I could always, ALWAYS check my email anytime I wanted. That's right, bitch. I said dial-up was better than you. And way cheaper. Take that.
And I will post this rant-in-letter-format if you will only be so good as to let me online. Pretty please.
(This rant was written last night in a murderous rage which included an Office Space-esque fantasy involving the DSL box and a baseball bat in the backyard. However, I couldn't post it last night since the orange flashing would not stop. So this morning I sat down to a green light which immediately started flashing orange when I touched the mouse. I swear, for once in my life I am not even exaggerating. I think the little bastard knew what I was going to write. Spooky.)