First of all, welcome to Christmas in Texas:
Now, on to my crazy Target shopping trip of craziness. I needed four things, one of which I forgot upon entering the store, but which came back to me later. First, I needed to find the picture frames, which at not-SuperTarget are not where they belong. So despite the fact that I circled the store endlessly just last week to find the picture frames, I spent an eternity yet again trying to find them. Item one, down.
Item two was lotion. Come to find out that Target now makes its own version of Jergens products. Sign me up. If you ever come to my house in need of pain medication, you can have your choice of Targuprofen or Targcedrin. Perhaps you have a cold and can't sleep? How about some Targquil? I swear, if Target made cars, instead of a hip and trendy Ford Focus, I'd be driving an almost indistinguishable Targcus. Or a Forget! Ha!
Item three: a hairdryer. Recently I've been going through hairdryers the way most people go through Target Brand Raisin Bran. Or is that just me too? Anyway, I located the hairdryer department where there were 60,000 almost identical hairdryers to choose from. The last one I had was the cord-keeper, which was also the one I had before that. Since both of these had tragically short lifespans, I thought I'd go crazy and get a different model. So basically I closed my eyes, lunged forward, and bought the one that I blindly knocked off the shelf.
The fourth and final item: sunglasses. I've had the same square tortoiseshell sunglasses from TJ Maxx for over 2 years, which I believe is 37 in sunglass years. Except that the tiny screw on one side constantly falls out, and finally despite the fact that I love these sunglasses, I give up. I bought a similar pair last year at Wal-Mart which I recently lost. In general, my style is fairly casual and I typically don't buy anything too, well, interesting because 1) I don't really like people looking at me and 2) I don't believe I'm cool enough to pull it off. But for some reason, I feel that I can pull off huge Jackie O/Audrey Hepburn shades. You know, with my t-shirt and jeans. So I tried on some massive round black frames, but they had weird squared off corners on top. I tried on different colors of J-Lo shades, but the little nose pad things got stuck in my hair when I put them on top of my head. I refuse to wear anything mirrored. If you love mirrored sunglasses, more power to you. It's just a lifestyle choice that I refuse to make.
I wound up getting essentially the very same square tortoiseshell sunglasses I've been wearing all this time. Except apparently that little bend where they go over your ear is just too pedestrian for Isaac Mizrahi's discount couture sensibilities. So these sort of stick awkwardly back into my hair. But I had been in Target with the screaming children and the frantic parents and the scent of Starbucks trying to lure me over there and off my budget for several hours (or, you know, 25 minutes), so I had to finish the list and Get Out of Dodge.
Only two shopping days left! Just in case you were wondering, I prefer silver over gold and my mp3 player is busted. Or you could do as the Christian bookstore radio commercial I heard today advised and Give the Gift of Jesus. Apparently He is on special over there.