After roughly six straight hours of football viewing tonight, I decided to take a break and have a go at the new workout plan that Amy and I had decided to try.
Yes, I pulled my car out of the garage and jumped rope. See, our friend Fancy Doug had been explaining that jumping rope is a very efficient way to burn calories. We thought this sounded good, so on one of my almost-daily trips to Target, I went ahead and picked up some jump ropes for us. And back when the Colts-Patriots games was looking boring and one-sided (who knew the second half would get so good?) I thought I'd give it a whirl.
For the first minute or two, I had a little trouble. Is it possible that I have forgotten how to jump rope, I wondered. Then it came back to me and I felt just like a kid again. I could almost see my young self out in the driveway with my pink plastic jump rope that through much use had turned black in the middle, courtesy of our blacktop driveway. This lasted a few minutes. Then I felt very much not like a kid again. I felt every bit of my age and out-of-shapeness. I discovered an alarming truth:
Jumping rope kicks my ass.
I'm not kidding you. It is tiring. I had to force myself to slow down so as not to have to quit only a few minutes in. Which is just sad. This was so easy as a kid. I cannot remember ever getting winded from jumping rope. Of course, I have not attempted to do so in probably fifteen to twenty years now. Yikes, that sentence makes me sound old.
But remember when we did stuff like this purely for fun? As a kid, I'd just go and jump rope because it sounded like a good idea and I'd keep going at will until something more fun came along or it was dinner time or my brother came up with some ill-advised scheme that involved risking my personal safety for his amusement. I don't remember ever having to quit because I was tired.
So this is my plan: I will jump rope as a workout until it becomes easy enough to be a fun leisure-time activity. This will probably be never. If you need me, I'll be in the garage.
Also, I feel the need to smugly point out that when my dad asked me at the beginning of the season who was going to make it to the Superbowl, I picked the Bears and Colts. He calmly explained to me why I was wrong. So now I am taking this opportunity to say "ha!" Please notice how I have refrained from using the phrase "I told you so". Thank you.