I could be wrong here...
...but I don't think you can actually reduce your death risk. I think we're all pretty much at a 100% risk of death. No matter how much aspirin you take. (Or how many blueberries you eat, although when added to Kashi Go Lean Crunch, they increase the risk of tastiness by 100%!)
What I am also not buying:
- That Heather Locklear colors her own hair with a box from the drugstore.
- That I will use less gas if I drive slower. This can obviously not be true because it would take me longer to get places, thus using MORE gas.
- That bees are more afraid of me than I am of them.
- That skinny jeans will make me look skinny.
- That whole "no two snowflakes are exactly alike" thing. Like anyone could actually know that.
Some delusions, however, I am perfectly happy to remain under:
- That I can get out of bed at 7:30 and make it to work by 8:00.
- That preservatives help keep me young.
- That if I can't see the back of my hair, it must look fine.
- That the good driving karma I build by letting people in front of me will inevitably return to me.
- That Joaquin Phoenix is just as yet unaware of how much he wants me.
What about you, Internet? Are you deluding yourself? And what are you not falling for?