Last night was ugly. I was not feeling well and was, consequently, up until about four this morning. Have you checked your TV listings for 3am recently? Bleak. Very, very bleak.
At one point, I checked my symptoms on webMD and one of their actual recommendations for me: Avoid constipation. Is this not a goal that we all pretty much have? Is there someone out there thinking, "Wait, webMD, you're telling me that constipation is not something to aspire to?"
I don't have any students today, so I thought I'd sleep until noon or so, what with the getting to bed at four and all. Then at eight this morning, my normally quiet neighborhood suddenly converted to the Den of Deafening Noise. First there was the car alarm for a good five or ten minutes. Then there was the truck that was apparently just circling the block in reverse (BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!) Then they mowed the lawn next door. Then they did the edging with the noisiest edger in the long and glorious history of weedwackers. Seriously, I got up out of bed to see what was going on since it sounded like it was about to burst through my window screen at any moment, all horror movie style. (Coming soon to theaters: The Lawnboy. "Your lawn has never looked better. Too bad YOU'LL BE DEAD!") Then there was some sort of large machinery going on in the parking lot next door, which I thought was annoying until they introduced the one that loudly chugs like some sort of cartoon jalopy.
Which is why I have finally given up and gotten out of bed to write you this sunshiney little post. As soon as I put on leaving-the-house clothes, I'm off to the store for healthy food and also Diet Dr Pepper because I drank my last one on Saturday and while I was going to make an effort to ease off the diet soda, now is clearly not the time.