Dave had a rather interesting scenario for me:
If you were called upon, Noah-like, to care for two animals of every known species, which would have the best survival rate in your home? Which would you spend the most time with? Which would require the most attention? Which would need to be separated from each other? Etc. Assume space is not an issue since you have ample warning to get that home improvement loan and build to suit your needs.
Wow. Well, uh, I guess the cute and fuzzy animals would have the best survival rate if I were in charge since they would certainly be my priority. Particularly really adorable animals such as teacup pigs:
They're like pursedogs, but pigs instead! I would definitely be keeping these away from all of the carnivores in the house.
I'm not sure I could successfully force myself to keep two of every insect alive in my home. To that end, I know I should separate animals like geckos and roaches, bats and mosquitoes, but I don't see myself doing that. Good riddance, creepy crawlies! I know, I know, food chain and all of that, but Dave said this is my house and I won't have two of every bug in it!
Next up, Sharon, with this request:
Maybe it's just me, but I would love to hear you do more political commentary. Maybe an IR Brief/Wrap every once in a while.
I don't have a political rant in me at the moment, so I thought I'd go ahead and tell you what in heck Sharon is talking about here. See, I know Sharon from when we were both civic educators back in DC. We would take our students to various seminars throughout the week, which included International Relations (IR) as well as Judicial, Media, and a Domestic Issues Debate. One of the responsibilities of the instructors was to do a briefing before the seminar and a wrap afterward, in which the students would be prepared and debriefed, respectively. This involved leading a discussion or activity in front of up to 200 high school students and there was no getting out of doing them on a regular basis. Which is why, to this day, I am comfortable in front of as many students as you can find for me to speak to, but still completely seize up in front of only a handful of adults. I was also able to finely hone my skill for BS as a result of this responsibility. You try coming up with an interesting activity to engage a bunch of teenagers in judicial issues. Oh, and you have no idea what the speaker will actually be talking about, but somehow you have to tie in your briefing and what the speaker said during your wrap activity/discussion. It's six degrees of legislation.
And finally, we get to Madison Friend Katie and her grammar query:
I would really like to know some of your (poor) grammar pet peeves. I know you have them. Maybe you’ve already talked about them on this blog, but if you haven’t, I'd love to hear them. I’ll get you started with mine. Maybe they’re not so much grammar pet peeves as words and phrases that make me cringe when used improperly.
Well, Katie, I have indeed previously discussed my grammar pet peeves, as have a number of other folks around here. They share your disdain for the overuse of the word utilize. I have to say, it never occurred to me to be bothered by this until everybody brought it up. Not to worry though, there are always more grammar pet peeves to be discussed.
One thing that routinely gets under my skin is the use of 's to indicate a plural. Folks, if it's more than one, it's just s. Or es. But no apostrophe! NO NO NO. This is particularly common when people are talking about couples or families using last names. My family, for example, is the Grahams. Not the Graham's. Writing the Graham's indicates that one of us is THE Graham and that something belongs to him or her. But no, we are plural. Add an s. Unless your last name already ends with an s, in which case, add es. It's that easy!
A second pet peeve concerns the misuse of the word myself. This commonly happens in a sentence like "Brett Favre and myself led the Packers to a win against the Broncos." No. I. Brett Favre and I. Myself could be properly used in a sentence like "I was proud of myself for staying awake for the entire game, thus enabling the Packers to win." See how in that sentence, there is a reference to I followed by a reference to myself? This is the key, people! Brett Favre outdid himself. Ann Coulter made an ass of herself. You are currently giving yourself permission to quit reading this boring grammar lesson. There's a pattern there.
Ok, then. I'll stop at just two grammar-related pet peeves. For now. (You, however, are free to leave as many as you'd like in the comments. I promise to share in your outrage, because I am just that geeky. If TLC ever started a show called How Not to Butcher the English Language, I could be Stacy to your Clinton.)
Tomorrow, we'll round out the week of me not having to come up with my own topics by addressing bad drivers, winter, my suspected vegetarianism, and a particularly egregious example of my gift for procrastination. Won't you join us?
Oh, and Happy Halloween! I'm dressed up as Girl Still in Her Pajamas. Clever, right? Now gimme some candy!
1. The word utilized. It’s used (utilized?) and misused (see what I mean?) way too often. And quite frankly, I think people just use it to try to sound smarter. Please, just use “use”.
2. Facilitated. Maybe I’ve been reading too many resumes lately, but how often do you actually facilitate something? Chances are you led something, you hosted something, you organized something, or a group you belong to sponsored something. Saturday night’s hypnotist is not being facilitated by the student activities committee. It is being sponsored by the student activities committee. They are paying for the hypnotist. They are not making him easier.
3. The phrase “At the end of the day”. If you’re really talking about something that will occur shortly before the day is over, then you have my permission to use this phrase. If you’re using the phrase to summarize a thought similar to “when all is said and done,” please don’t. It’s way too over-used (over-utilized??). I trace its origins back to the first season of The Apprentice. If that show ever airs again, would you like to play a drinking game with me? We’ll take turns drinking any time someone uses the phrase. And at the end of the night, I guarantee that we'll be drunk:)