Dear Bus Driver,
I smiled at you and said hello when I got on board. You asked me what I was so smiley about this morning, which I thought was just a little bit of bus driver banter. It looks like I might have been wrong about that. It might have been more of an accusation than a question.
I paid and went all the way to the back so as not to take up any of the seats reserved for senior citizens and the disabled. During my 30 minute ride, I saw plenty of people try to exit through the back door and then have to instead go to the front because the back door was lined up with a snowbank. Some of these people rattled the door to get your attention or tried to force it open. You even had to yell at one guy to get him to come to the front because he was not giving up on that back door. I understand that you were frustrated with this.
At the stop before mine, you lined up the back door with a good spot. The one girl who was exiting was heading for the front and had to turn around and go to the back instead. So when my stop came, I stopped at the back door to see whether I could get out there. The light wasn't coming on, so I went to the front.
Where I found you sternly pointing at the front door. The door which you refused to open until you had finished giving me a rather lengthy diatribe on how opening the back door into a snow bank messes up the bus's breaks. I said "OK, thank you" and yet you still refused to open the door and continued your condescending lecture for quite some time.
Listen, I know that you wanted to say all of this to the door-rattlers, but you couldn't because it was a busy street with buses waiting behind you. I know it had been building for a while and you saw a good opportunity, what with me getting out on a side street. Clearly you were in a pretty foul mood by then anyway, judging by the way you honked twice at a car who was sitting on the side of a not busy and plenty wide street, not obstructing your way, then pulled up next to him (see, plenty of room to go around) to open your door and yell at him that he had to move.
But when I was headed into a temp job where everyone will speak to me in condescending tones for eight hours just because I'm a temp and the new girl and they think until I tell them otherwise that I'm in college, your assholery was really the very last thing I needed. I hadn't even had any coffee yet, despite the fact that it was in my hand, because I was being an exemplary passenger and following the no eating or drinking rule.
Yes, you deal with a lot of irritating people at work. Who doesn't? I don't know why you can't deal with it like the rest of us stoic Wisconsinites. You just stuff it down all week and then on Sunday, you turn on the Packers game and let all of that rage out on the refs and opposing team members who can't hear you anyway. Four out of five psychologists recommend it as a healthy way to relieve stress. I mean, I didn't ask any, but I assume.
I should be getting my car back today, so it looks like we won't be seeing each other again. Thank God.
your former passenger,