That title is shamelessly stolen from The Onion. The article was hanging on the door of our office back when I was a professional democracy geek.
These days I am back to amateur geek status, but today I did, in fact, vote in the primary. Where I discovered that I am apparently the oldest person living in my ward. When I was registering, I was the only one at the table who was able to use my driver's license. Everyone else had to use a utility bill because their license had their parents' address back home on it.
Making me realize that I voted for Bill Clinton while these kids were in KINDERGARTEN. That is how old I am.
And who told young people to participate in the political process anyway?
Ha! It was me! I wouldn't have done it if I had known that so many of them would show up for a primary that I'd have to wait long enough to miss my nightly date with Brian Williams.
If it had come up in the course of my civic educating days, I would have told my students that the likely benefit to standing on a street corner with a campaign sign in below zero wind chill does not outweigh the risk of frostbite. Youth of America, do you really think this is an effective means of persuasion? Have I taught you nothing? People uninformed enough to make a decision based on some posterboard you painted yourself don't go vote in a primary and certainly not when it is, by my own observation, approximately eighty-seven degrees below zero outside.
I'll give you that lesson in electoral politics completely free of charge. In exchange, come November, could you vote during the day while us grown ups are at work? I may be old, but I remember college - you have the daytime hours. Put down the sign and go vote. Prior to 5:00 p.m.
You can make a difference, college students! The difference between whether I get my Brian Williams fix or not on Election Day. Will you answer the call?