I forgot, when I decided to have a contest in which I would be the sole judge, that I am very indecisive. In fact, one of my six-word memoirs that I deleted was "Indecisiveness as a way of life."
And you people didn't make it easy on me either, did you? You with your witty and evocative memoirs. If all but one of you could have written bad ones, it really would have helped me out.
In order to just eliminate some choices, I first decided that members of my immediate family were ineligible to win. But I will say that I greatly enjoyed my sister's "Still uses time and materials unwisely." See, at our elementary school, you got a grade in that. And I got, if not straight D's all the way through, then pretty close to it. Thank goodness there is no longer anyone grading me in that particular subject. (In my defense, while I also tended to get D's in responsibility, I always got A's in citizenship. I was spacy, but nice. Hi, I have AD/HD inattentive. I can't remember your name, but I like your shoes.)
Then I discovered that it was difficult to choose between those of you I know in real life and those of you I don't know. Because if we are friends, then I know how well your particular memoir sums you up, which makes me like it even more. But this is an unfair disadvantage for all of you internet strangers out there.
Thus, instead of one winner, we would have two.
I really liked Holly Rose's memoir "Eighth graders think I'm funny". In case you've never spent time around eighth graders, you should know that this says a lot about a person. Unfortunately, this memoir is not so much six words long as it is five. (Fret not, public, Holly teaches social studies, not math.) I must disqualify six-word memoirs that do not involve six words.
Making it even easier to choose, as our winner for Person Lori Knows in Real Life, Sharon. I loved so many of Sharon's entries that it was hard to choose one, but in the end I went with "Who cared about the prom, anyway?" Those six words tell us a lot, I think.
And now, on to the people I don't know. You made it terribly difficult to choose, Invisible Internet People. Not only are you huge grammar geeks, it turns out, but you can also turn a phrase. In the end though, there can only be one winner. Or can there? Because I was torn between two and then you, Internet, started voicing your opinion too.
So instead of two winners, we will have three. Because it's my contest and I said so.
First, we have Andrew with "Got divorced. Became emotional wrecking ball." Because I think that's some pretty powerful imagery.
And second, we have Jennifer (winner and fan favorite) with "Made my bed; lying in it." Yep, that about sums it up.
So congratulations to Sharon, Andrew, and Jennifer! And thanks to everyone else for playing!
Oh, and you can enter your memoirs at SMITH Magazine for possible inclusion in their next book. Which is only slightly more prestigious than winning an award here at Superfantastic and may be read by a few (hundred thousand) more people. Good luck!
