There haven't been any unicorns. Yet.
Posted June 19, 2008
I'm a hippo. I was a giraffe earlier this week, but have since become a hippo instead.
Because my advisor in my teaching program has assigned us group membership via brightly colored animal heads placed in our attendance folders. Yes, of course we have attendance folders. They too are brightly colored. We attach them to the chalkboard rail using brightly colored clothes pins. We wrote our names on school bus stickers to put on the outside.
We work in groups. We make posters using Mr. Sketch scented markers (Is it just me or does Mr. Sketch sound like someone who should not be permitted within 500 feet of a school?) to show each other what we have talked about in our groups. Today we read a case study that made us angry, so we all stood up together and said RAAAAAAHHH!
We finished the first part of our training today, so we all went out in the hall and made a line, all of us standing on the first tile block next to the lockers. Then we put up our hands like we were pushing a wall, jumped forward and shouted WE DID IT!
This morning the 11th Graders I am student teaching with read and discussed Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God (the 11th graders seemed unconcerned) and then I went to my training in the afternoon, where we gave the other animal groups standing o's by standing up, making O's with our arms over our heads, and saying OOOOOOOOHHH!
To be fair, some other people in my training class seem really into this stuff. And yes, we're getting firsthand experience with some things some people may want to use with their students.
It's just, I'd rather we acted like we were all adults. I have no doubt whatsoever that my advisor is an excellent teacher of elementary special ed. But with grown ups, there wouldn't seem to be a need for all of the bells and whistles and Sesame Street stickers. There shouldn't be a need of gimmicks or techniques to keep us engaged in the lesson. The desire to be good teachers and the thousands of dollars we're paying for a program to that end ought to take care of that.
So here's my idea: reading, lecture, note-taking, discussion. I picked up the idea somewhere, oh I don't know, maybe college, that this is how you educate adults. Particularly when there is a lot of material to cover in a short amount of time, as is the case for us.
Then again, I am cranky and no fun and wasn't even into WE DID IT! kind of stuff when I was an actual kid. So maybe it's just me.
But let me plainly state here that I absolutely will not take part in the Elmer's school gluing of macaroni to any surface whatsoever. This is where I draw the line. With a scented marker.
Amy says:
June 20, 2008 at 01:02 AM
Oh how I wish I were a fly on your classroom wall to see you do this stuff!! TOO FUNNY!! I guess this is your introduction to the crazy world of elementary teachers. I am not trying to offend any of you who are elem. teachers, but I have seen my share of some pretty unique ones over the years!! I think I would go crazy with a teacher like that!
Kelly G says:
June 20, 2008 at 07:46 AM
And now you understand what exactly it is that drives a teacher to wear sweater vests and theme pins, oh, and Jumpers too. (I have some apple pins I can send your way).
Diane says:
June 20, 2008 at 09:51 AM
Oh. My. Gosh.
I don't know if I could handle that! I fear for your sanity. It's like the Stepford Teachers or something.
andrew says:
June 20, 2008 at 09:58 AM
I can't believe that the ADD Lori that I know (and by know I mean as in I read your blog) would be an advocate for the "reading, lecture, note-taking, discussion" learning method. I was always an advocate of the show up 10 mins late, open my notebook, draw pictures of spaceships, whisper to my friends about the $1 guinness lunch time happy hour at Double Dave's Pizzaworks, and leave 15 mins early type of learning method.
Daily Tragedies says:
June 20, 2008 at 10:27 AM
I am going to implement that strategy of standing up and saying RAAAAAAH! when something makes me angry. My colleagues probably won't enjoy the disruption every 10 minutes or so, but they can just RAAAAAAH! back.
Dingo says:
June 20, 2008 at 03:13 PM
If you are really against the whole glue idea, you can always use the macaroni to make a purty necklace.
Sharon says:
June 20, 2008 at 03:39 PM
I am sorry you have to go through this. As an elementary school teacher (who just had her last day with the kids!) I know how frustrating it can be. My principal gets the teachers' attention to start a staff meeting by yelling "Hands up!" and then actually waiting for people to raise their fists in the air and get quiet, something that rarely actually works with kids. It makes me sick every time and I never put my hand up. I am sure my minor biweekly protest is unlikely to cause a stir, but it satisfies me. I have also been to conferences where an entire room of elementary school teachers are asked to stand up and do stupid things, or sometimes to sing a song. This is my queue to roll my eyes, grab my bag, and find another session to attend. Be ready to reply appropriately when your new principal welcomes everyone on the first day in that familiar sing-songy way, "Good morning, Staff!" But where we disagree is on arts & crafts. I could glue and color things all day. But if you're not so into it, then use the time productively to air your grievances. Say it with macaroni. Congrats on finishing your first week at the new job. Can't wait to hear more. And good one on the Mr. Sketch joke.
Pearl says:
June 20, 2008 at 05:32 PM
Dear Heaven. This has brought back terrible memories of the (mercifully short) time I spent living in a Christian community where we had to sing prayers from a children's book and put on little plays to help us explore the Bible. We were also in groups with animal names. I was a seal, which is decidedly less cool than a hippo.
Angie says:
June 20, 2008 at 05:49 PM
Congrats on finishing your first week...who knows, maybe next week you'll get to play with puffy paint!
Kara says:
June 21, 2008 at 10:31 PM
You know what's funny? I was just like you when going through teacher training (to be an elementary teacher). I gritted my teeth through every cheesy activity, song, attention-getter, etc. Hated every minute of it. My favorite classes were the "boring" ones where the professor actually taught it like the college class it was, rather than like a mock-elementary class. I couldn't wait to get in the classroom and see what would happen if I treated the kids like young adults, taking them seriously, not making them do goofy things. I was teaching 6th grade, after all. The next year they'd be attending junior high; I figured they'd appreciate an end of the childishness. But you know what? I sucked as a teacher. The kids were bored, and I found myself unable to do a personality makeover, to make myself a more typical elementary teacher. So I taught for one year and then got a nice, mature job as an administrative assistant and never looked back.
The lesson (for me) was that even though I may have been "too cool" for the cheesy stuff by the time I was in 6th grade, that most kids at that age are still kids and still like some of the silly stuff. I'm thinking that's a moot point, though, because I'm assuming you're going to be teaching high school and that definitely is a different ball game.
Janet says:
June 23, 2008 at 12:22 AM
I LOVE Mr. Sketch markers! Embrace the scented markers!
Maren says:
June 23, 2008 at 11:59 AM
How did you not fall on the floor laughing when they suggested all of this? It is a good thing you didn't though, especially since they actually take it seriously. It all seems like a cruel joke to me...