Today you are in luck, dear readers, because today I am going to tell you the story of the most horribly awkward moment I've experienced in my thirty-one years. The shocking part: I did not cause it. I know!
I'll change the names of the people involved for their protection. Let's call the girl Susie. Now, Susie is an actual real-life sweet person. You are wondering what such a person was doing hanging around with me, aren't you? It's ok, I've wondered the same thing. I think perhaps I was some sort of aversion therapy for Susie.
We'll call the guy Bob. Bob seemed like a nice enough guy but was really socially inept. You are thinking that's the pot calling the kettle black, aren't you? It's ok, I am indeed pretty socially awkward. But Bob? Bob makes me look like a gifted schmoozer. I am Bill Clinton compared to Bob. It is even possible that Bob may have fallen somewhere on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum.
So, on the night in question, Bob, Susie, and I were out to dinner with probably about ten other people. We were all seated at a long table. The important part of the seating arrangement to this story is that I was seated between Susie and Bob. Keep that in mind.
Everybody was pretty well finished eating, as I recall, and there had been a couple of different conversations going on. Then, as happens in these situations, there was a moment of complete quiet, which Bob seized, as follows:
Bob (leans around me toward Susie): So! As long as there's a lull in the conversation, Susie, would you like to have dinner sometime?
Susie is so shocked by this that she does an involuntary head-shake. Bob takes this as an instantaneous rejection and leans back so I'm directly between him and Susie again. I don't remember Susie's exact words (unlike Bob's which are burned into my memory) but after taking a moment to compose herself, Susie does thank him for the offer and let him down easy.
Here's the kicker: Bob doesn't leave! He stays and everyone attempts to make conversation and pretend it didn't happen. The only person who doesn't seem phased is Bob. Which is either really disturbing or really impressive, depending on how you look at it.
So there you have it, the most awkward moment in my experience. Surely you can compete. Write it in a comment or post on your own blog and leave a comment with the link. I think this is going to be fun.