Here's a new game: I'll list some things I said last week and you guess whether I said them to a middle schooler or my nine month-old niece, Allie. They are surprisingly similar.
1. Don't kick him!
2. What do you have in your mouth?
3. Are you pouting?
4. (Sung) All my aunts call me low-rider
1. I said this to Allie. She was locked in a low speed chase with the cats, who would walk a few feet away and then lay down until she got to them again. Since Allie requires fingers to hold in order to walk, I told Calvin, the cat who is afraid of everything, that he had nothing to fear from Allie. "I've got her hands," I said. "You're safe." Then she kicked him.
2. Sixth grader! I had been playing fractions bingo with my seventh graders that morning. In my last hour, I saw a girl tear a piece of paper off and put it in her mouth. I told her to spit it out and she very unsneakily removed it from her mouth and tried to convince me that she wasn't chewing on paper. This involved opening her mouth to show me that there was (now) no paper in it. I could clearly see something red in her mouth though. It was a plastic bingo chip which she had found on a table and PUT IN HER MOUTH. Despite the fact that she didn't know where it had been, which was most likely on the floor and certainly in the hands of several middle schoolers, who clearly are not known for their adherence to basic standards of personal hygiene.
3. Again, this was a middle schooler. He was talking to the girl next to him and neither was getting any work done. I gave them a warning and the next time, I told him to move to a different seat. This made him very angry and he retaliated by closing his book and glowering at me for several minutes until I walked over to him and could not stop myself from asking whether he was really going to just sit there and pout. Answer: yes. Grade: F.
4. Well, ok, this was an easy one. Walking is Allie's very favorite thing to do, but since she needs to hold onto someone's hands, it can get hard on a person's back after a while. I just need her to grow another inch or two before I can walk her around without hunching over. On the plus side, she does often provide traveling music in the form of songs of her own composition. When I made her stop for a minute so I could pull her sock up, she sang me what can only be described as a lament.
That's it for today's installment of Baby or Middle Schooler? Thanks for playing!