Progress Report

Today, I had two sessions of training related to the reading programs I use with my students. One was 8:00-11:00 and the other 12:30-3:00. (Lunch at 11:00! Clearly the work of the elementary people.) I took my half-pill at 7:00, which was going to work out really well since I'd have lunch four hours later and could then take my second.

I went to my morning session, where we were instructed on our phonics program by someone who has just clearly not spent time in a classroom in over a decade and has forgotten how children operate. There's also the way that I disagree with how this program teaches phonics in some regards and the way that one of the other teachers seemed to have a pretty poor grasp on phonics herself. So I was irritated. But I wasn't sure if I was any better focused than usual.

Then I went to lunch with the teacher I'd been sitting next to, who I did not previously know, thankyouverymuch. That isn't relevant to the post, but it is somewhat uncharacteristic. It was easy though to overcome my problems with making small-talk since she teaches the same thing I do to very similar kids. Special ed teachers can talk about kids all day.

Anyway, I forgot to take the second pill until we were back at school, almost an hour and a half late. So when my next session started, the first pill had worn off and the second hadn't kicked in yet, giving me an opportunity to see if there was any difference.

Holy crap. Inside my head was so...loud. There's usually a song playing in my head, but this was the first time I had ever realized that I was having a hard time hearing someone over it. And there was so much chatter. And then me internally yelling at myself to pay attention, like I do with my students but way meaner.

I really did want to listen to this woman. She was showing us a new program we're getting that looks really good and she was explaining how to use it realistically with our students. (She also endeared herself to me enormously by using the word serendipitous correctly and spontaneously, a feat I am now determined to replicate.) I was missing parts, as evidenced by stuff she'd clearly already covered from the PowerPoint.

Then I felt the meds kick in. It was like somebody turned down the volume. The song was still there but it was background, like in a restaurant, rather than being club-like. I could listen and pay attention without berating myself or even really trying. It was effortless.

I never knew there was that much mental noise until it was gone. I wonder how much stuff I've missed. I wonder how many people have felt like I wasn't listening to them when I really thought I was. If we are friends and I've clearly not caught a quarter of what you've said to me, I apologize.

So the Adderall would seem to pass the focus test. It will most likely be a while before I'll get to see how it performs when I face a multi-tasking or multi-step project situation, so I'll have to wait and see. I've heard that it replaces the blind panic response with an ability to see what needs to be done, prioritize, and begin. Sounds good to me.

On that note, I promise this will not become How are you today? I've got ADD. I'll return to other topics any day now. I do have one more post written on the topic, but it's a funny one. At least I think so. In fact, at the risk of over-promising and under-delivering, I kind of think it's the funniest thing I've done in a while. Which was a relief since, despite assurances to the contrary, I was a little worried that the meds might take away my funny.