Sub-par

I was sick on Wednesday. It started early Tuesday morning with what I assumed was the lamest hangover of all time. I had two beers while watching football Monday night. I hadn't eaten since 12:30 and was well into the first beer by the time my wings arrived, so I thought maybe the two beers had just hit me bizarrely hard.

By the end of the school day on Tuesday when I felt no better, I thought perhaps this was an actual non-self-inflicted illness. (Unless you consider any illness I get to be self-inflicted on the grounds that I choose to work with children, in which case, you'd have a point.) So I made sure to update the seating charts in my Emergency Substitute Plans binder and to leave the binder on the front table for just in case I should have a sub.

Wednesday morning was indeed pretty ugly, so I put in for a sub online, including instructions that the Emergency Substitute Plans binder was on the front table. I texted my boss a heads up that I'd be out and then I went back to sleep. Until 2pm.

I felt better this morning, so I went to work. And thank goodness.

I arrived to a full page of angry scrawling on the instruction page of the Emergency Substitute Plans binder. He went on and on about how THERE ARE NO PACKETS and THE PACKETS SHOULD BE IN PLAIN SIGHT and I WENT THROUGH YOUR DESK AND FOUND ONE LOOSE PACKET BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH CLASS IT IS FOR. He explained that he had a teacher aide make copies for all of the classes because HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO although the teacher aide COLLATED AND STAPLED THEM BACKWARD. (This was a group of random worksheets, so there would have been no actual forward or backward.)

It becomes clear from the scrawling that at some point he discovered the packets I left for him. Cleverly hidden behind the tabs numbered by class period. He had even turned to these tabs to find the seating charts, but neglected to turn that one page to find the packets directly behind them. What could he have thought all of that paper was separating that seating chart from the next tab? We'll never know.

I found out that my boss had stopped in during third period to find out how it was going and was greeted by him shouting at her about how I hadn't left any plans. She showed him where everything was located and suggested (somewhat firmly, I think) that he ask for help in the future rather than freak out. At that point, he started writing me notes about how he had not previously been able to find them because my INSTRUCTIONS WERE UNCLEAR. He took it upon himself to root around in my desk to find a red pen with which to underline that.

He'd later point out that one of my students needed a lot of help. Well, yes. Being mentally retarded will have that effect. And he wrote up another student for excessive talking during class. Seriously? It's a class of six kids. And the worst problem was one of them talking. I cannot feel that this man has much of a future in substitute teaching. Or any business being in it at present.

On the upside, the worst critique of him that my students offered was to call him "weird".

On the downside, one of my students told me that I looked pretty today. Which, yes, sounds nice. But given that I went this morning with a look that could be most aptly named "Stay Back!" I have to feel that her having said it today renders void all of the times she previously said it to me. It can clearly bear no actual relation to how I look that day.

And then some of my students talked in class! And needed help! The nerve!