I don't think it's ever taken me this long to get a State of the Union post done. (Previous SOTU posts are here, here, here and here if you want to do the math.) Not to worry though, I still have my notes.
My notes include this: "I know that tone. I USE that tone."
Because there was certainly some scolding going on. Some of which was directed at the Supreme Court, which is something that I have certainly never seen before. A lot of it though was directed to the Senate. On several occasions, the President brought up something that the House had passed and let the Senate know that he expected them to do the same.
Leading me to write: "Why can't you be more like your brother, the House?"
The smackdown continued, aimed at all of Congress ("I want a jobs bill on my desk without delay." and "If I have to enforce this discipline by veto, I will."), Democrats ("We have the largest majority in decades and people expect us to solve problems, not run for the hills."), Republicans ("The responsibility is yours as well. Just saying no to everything is not leadership.") and himself ("I take my share of the blame for not having explained it well enough.")
Verbal spankings aside, my notes are heavy on the superficial. Such as that, while I don't love looking at Joe Biden for over an hour, at least I don't feel like he wants to eat my soul. However, I do think the VP seat should instead go every year to the winner of People's Sexiest Man Alive. It would certainly improve the experience for those of us who watch and may even boost the ratings.
Apparently, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Michelle Obama were all wearing purple in an effort to support bi-partisanship (red+blue=purple). What I wondered was why so many women in the chamber were wearing bright yellow. I asked Katie whether they were making some sort of statement that she was aware of or just trying to be more easily spotted by their loved ones watching at home. Her response: "Yellow is the new black?" Well if that's the case, then I will just have to be desperately uncool. So that will be pretty much the same.
Holly and I agreed that President Obama's tie was less dizzying than last year's. Then again, we weren't playing a SOTU drinking game this year. If we had been and "jobs" had been the trigger word, I'm pretty sure some kids would have had to have substitute teachers on Thursday.
Before we move on to the Republican response, allow me to share my favorite line from the speech: "America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity." Well done, speechwriters.
The Republican response was given by brand spanking new Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell. In the State House. With an audience, complete with applause breaks. Sort of like a mini-State of the Union. Which was weird. Usually these things are done by a person sitting alone in front of a camera. But this way it was, you know, longer.
Brand spanking new Governor McDonnell announced "We want results, not rhetoric." A statement which is itself, of course, rhetoric.
The Governor also shared his belief that it was due process that stopped the attempted Christmas bomber from sharing information. Right. Because a person who is willing to blow himself up in the pursuit of an ideal will totally spill his guts unless you give him an attorney. Stripped of constitutional rights, those terrorists sure are a cooperative bunch. (Note: "spill his guts" is a pun so wholly, entirely unintended that I didn't even realize I'd accidentally made it until a full day after posting.)
*education break* Unlike the Democrats' bills, Governor McDonnell told us, the Republicans' proposals can all be found online. Apparently the Brand Spanking New Governor is unfamiliar with Thomas, a service provided by the Library of Congress that lists the full text of all bills. If you're reading, Governor, you can find it at www.thomas.gov. *end education break*
Then again, it's a federal government service and the Governor informed us that "we governors understand that government closest to the people governs best." How many years are we giving Brand Spanking New Governor McDonnell before his first bid for national office, i.e. The Government That Governs Least Well.
Finally, in response to the Governor's solicitation of legislation ideas from Twitter, I give him recent Twitter trending topics: ProudOfJonas, unwifeable, YouCantBeMyValentine, YouKnowYourFat, idothat2, teamedward, teamjacob, and picofmycock.
No please, really, keep your seats. There's no need to applaud. The sooner we finish here, the sooner Brian Williams can begin discussing my performance.