Thank you for letting me borrow your dress. It is so cute! And very comfortable. It even seems to be a color that makes me look less pasty.
Unfortunately, I will be unable to return it because it was...uh...burned by acid. I know, right? How did acid even get on it? And I didn't get burned at all, but your dress got a big hole in it?
No, it's actually that it...got paint on it. Yeah, it splashed on when there were these PETA protestors throwing paint on the people wearing fur coats. In July. In Washington DC. You know...surprisingly?
Well, really there was a...wolverine? And while I fought it off, your dress got torn. And then...yeah I got nothing.
I washed it and I'll have it back to you the next time I see you.