Marilyn went on to say "but get that ice or else no dice." So, strictly speaking, it was no dice for me at last Thursday's Diamonds and Dessert event put on by the Junior League of Washington.
It's an annual fundraiser, wherein 75 women buy tickets and receive a glass of champagne with a diamond-looking stone in the bottom. One is real. While you wait for the diamond testing to begin, you get all you can drink champagne and all you can eat dessert. So, while Harry Winston didn't talk to me, Red Velvet did. Along with the ladies pouring the bubbly.
I met Katie and Chrystal there. It's been snowing a lot here, so Chrystal and I had been enjoying snow days and Katie had been on her delayed way back from a conference in Las Vegas. But we all dressed up and ventured out and caught cabs because there's no Metro stop in Georgetown. We got our champagne glasses and went to check out the estate jewelry on sale there for what I found to be surprisingly reasonable prices. So reasonable, in fact, that I saved $9,770 on a ring!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Tiffany Bubbles ring:
Who will know the difference? Aside from all of you. And everyone who knows I'm a teacher and infers that to mean that I can't drop ten grand on a ring. The important thing is that I love it, I have it, and looking at it reminds me of a nice night out with girlfriends who support me in the buying of something pretty for myself. And who got some very pretty rings for themselves as well. Fortunately, we don't wear the same ring size, so no catfights ensued.
Then we ate cupcakes. Did you know that increased appetite is a side effect of Prednisone? I bring that up because I'd pretty much give my left arm for another one of those cupcakes right now. Or almost any cupcake. Or some pie. Or a pan of lasagna. Do you see why I'm avoiding the grocery store at the moment?
We all lined up to have our stones checked to see which one was real. We were toward the end of the line, so we felt good about our chances. But it wasn't any of us. As the end of the line drew near, things got very suspenseful in there! How accidentally clever to have the real one tested near last. Or last!
Except last came and went and still no real diamond. Except for the girls who would jokingly have the lady test their engagement rings. Fortunately all of those were real, because as Chrystal pointed out, how awful would it be to find out that particular secret in front of a room full of watching women? I'd try to play it off with a line about how I don't wear the real one because it's worth too many tens of thousands, but I don't think any of us has the poker face that could stand up to a moment like that.
The hunt began for any stones that might not have been tested. A couple of glasses left behind by early-departing ladies were found and their stones checked. Fakes. We'd already deposited ours into the For Reuse Next Year pile, which seemed like it might have been a mistake. But one woman who'd thought hers looked sparkly enough to bear hanging onto asked that it be rechecked. And that woman was on to something. It turns out she'd been near the front of the line, so the whole thing would have been over a lot more quickly had a mistake not been made.
I'm not going to lie to you, Internet, I was a little bit disappointed. Mostly because I'd already decided what I'd do with my diamond when I won it. A grill! For my teeth! Or possibly just one gold cap with a diamond for the tooth that needs a veneer anyway. What a stylish solution! Katie pointed out that I could still have it made with my fake diamond, but I felt that would rob it of class.
After all, Marilyn wasn't talking about rhinestones.