With the hurricane approaching, my dad called on Friday to check in with me. His primary concern was that Raj would have to work all weekend and I'd be forced to ride out the storm all by myself. When I told him that Raj would indeed be home, he was very relieved. As was my mother.
Which is how we got started down the road of What precisely do they imagine you're going to be able to do? that has ended with Raj believing I should write and post an epic poem of his heroic feats in defeating the hurricane. He held it back with nothing but his own two hands and sheer determination. I didn't actually see him do anything in particular, but there must have been something about the way that he sat on the couch by me, watching Inception, that the hurricane found particularly intimidating. Sure, it huffed and it puffed, but it didn't dare cross Raj far enough to even knock out our power for longer than it took to get the clocks to flashing.
That's all the more impressive, hurricane-wrangling-wise, when you know that a year ago, if anybody in the DC metro area even sneezed particularly empatically, the power in my building would go out. For a few days. Not in the surrounding buildings, mind you, just mine. The better to hear the other buildings' AC units running when I had my windows open.
I'm not trying to steal Raj's thunder here, but I do like to think that I helped a little bit to keep the power on by charging my phone and computer all day Saturday and not buying milk in order to avoid tempting fate to spoil it. And I filled some containers with water (though not the tub, as it turns out that our stopper doesn't actually fit our drain, thanks a lot apartment complex). Because I don't understand buying emergency storm preparation water when you have running water available and things to put it in. It's not like we were going to need to drink it. We've got like twelve bottles of wine here, plus gin AND tonic. Hell, we made mojitos last night just to use up some of the mint that's threatening to take over our whole apartment, all kudzu-like. That emergency water was going to be toilet-flushing water. Or possibly hangover medication water. Either way, it didn't need to come from a mountain spring.
What was I talking about?
Right, so let us sing his praises far and near, he who turns back the gale-force winds by the power of his icy glare, thus saving all the fair maidens of the household from the threat of non-working electricity-dependent coffee makers. Protector of the smartphone charger. Defender of the hot shower. Mighty Raj, your deeds shall long be remembered.
At least until next week's natural disaster. Let's hope Raj's powers are equally effective against volcanoes or locusts or whatever. Though even with Raj around to protect me, if it's boils, I'm out of here.