My most extaordinary accomplishment this summer? Training for a half-marathon and managing to gain weight in the process. Obviously this is not extraordinary in a good way.
But you've gained muscle! you say. That's sweet of you, Internet. Sweet, but untrue. I mean, sure, probably I've gained some muscle. But my clothes have a few things to say about where that extra weight has gone and they're not indicating my biceps, calves or quads.
But how did this happen? you ask. I know, right? I assumed that all of the half-marathon training would have me in bikini shape in time for going to Virginia Beach. Instead I've committed to running the same half-marathon I did last year, except this time I'll do it while essentially carrying a small bowling ball.
1. I worked for Close Up. The long hours meant missing a lot of training runs and cross-training. And the food is plentiful, free, and mostly really very bad for you. It's no coincidence that the fattest I've ever been was when I was working there full-time. Put free cake in front of me and I'm damn sure going to eat it.
2. I started cooking. With tons of produce from our CSA. Healthy, right? Yeah, except for the way that I chose recipes that involved heavy cream, parmesan cheese, and/or sausage. Sometimes all three. Oh, and bacon. Then I'd eat leftovers for lunch.
3. Because when I wasn't working, I was home all day. With lots of opportunities to eat. When I made those Oreo treats, I went in to cut off a little piece so often that we ran out of knives.
4. Then I went to San Antonio, where I felt that my inability to get good queso in DC meant I should eat as much as possible while there. I regretted that a little while hauling that extra queso weight down ten miles of trail on Monday.
5. I didn't get on the scale for a long time. I prefer to only weigh myself naked and first thing in the morning so as to see the lowest number possible. During the school year when I get up and immediately shower, it's convenient to step on the scale a few times a week. Now I get up, make the coffee, watch some HGTV, blah, blah, shower eventually. Do not step on scale. Become quite shocked upon finally weighing self. Assume scale must be broken. Test with barbell. Nope, dead on. Yikes.
6. Sundresses are extremely forgiving. Most of mine are cotton and empire waisted and could still fit through several months of pregnancy. So they had no weight-related accusations to make.
So what's the plan?
1. Move more. Fortunately, I've got a lot of running in my near future. Specifically, eleven miles this weekend, twelve the following and 13.1 on September 4, with lots of shorter runs and cross-training in the meantime. Then I've got the Army Ten Miler in October to keep me training and I intend to sign up for the Will Run for Chocolate 15k in December so I can't slack off. Additionally, going back to school means going back to walking almost two miles a day just to get to work and home. Being perpetually late means my morning walk is necessarily powerwalk-y.
2. Don't eat so damn much. This will be made easier next week since going back to school also means during the day I'll only be able to eat what I pack myself. Additionally, I have to learn that I am not a 6'2 man who works out more than I do (i.e., Raj) and don't need to eat as much or as often as he does. Nor do I need to drink his two percent milk. It seemed easier to just buy one variety and he was sure as heck not drinking skim. And, you guys, two percent milk is delicious. Like drinking melted ice cream. But sadly, Project Defattening dictates a return to skim.
(Safari recognizes defattening as a word. Interesting.)
3. Cook things that are healthy. Less cream, less sausage. I make no promises regarding cheese. After all, for a change to be effective, it has to be sustainable.
Because wouldn't it be nice if Whoops, I've gained weight again! didn't have to be a recurring post theme?