I've had a request to bring back the Six Word Memoir Contest, Internet, and as it turns out that today I have no other post ideas I've just realized that Superfantastic recently turned six years old, the time has come to do just that.
We did this once before, nigh unto four years ago, but for those of you who don't remember or want to click through to the link, allow me to explain again. Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway, challenged to write an entire story in six words, wrote "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." and proclaimed it to be his best work. SMITH Magazine altered the challenge slightly from a six-word story to six-word memoir and invited readers to submit their own. They have since published several books of these.
Last time I did this, the rules stated that everyone could submit as many entries as they liked and I'd choose one winner. These rules display a stunning lack of self-awareness. I'm incredibly indecisive and experience terrible guilt regarding potentially hurting anyone's feelings. Which is how we ended up with not one, but three winners, and I still felt torn about which to choose and badly about not having chosen everyone else.
Thus, a change in rules. You may still submit as many entries as you choose. BUT! You want to submit each memoir in a separate comment because this time random.org will be choosing the winner. Because I can't handle the pressure, Internet! I'll put the numbers of the comments into the randomizer and whichever number comes out on top is the winner. Members of my household and immediate family are therefore eligible to win, as is everyone else but me. So yes, it's kind of quantity over quality for chance of winning, but I'm unconcerned since I know you nerds won't be satisfied to just enter any old six words.
Once the randomizer selects a winner, I'll mail a fabulous prize to that person! (Please be willing to email me your address if you should win and not personally know me.) I'd tell you what the prize is, but it's a surprise! Even to me since I don't know what it is yet!
There are lots of examples in the comments if you click through to the first contest (again, here) or at SMITH Magazine. Entries must be original - no entering six words from a quote or lyric, even if they do feel autobiographical.
You might think that, having gotten the request to bring the contest back quite a while ago, I might have put some thought into some memoirs of my own to share. False! But let me see what I can come up with...
Gym class reject turns self-made runner.
Routinely shouts at Meet the Press.
Part Miss Nelson, part Viola Swamp.
Beatrice finds her Benedick on match.com.
You'll never take my oxford comma.
The contest closes on at 5:00 PM Eastern Friday, October 21. Enter early and often! Ready, steady, GO!