My wedding dress came today. And another state voted to deny marriage to some of its own citizens. So I'm feeling a little bit divided.
I may have doubted at times whether I'd ever get married, but the legal right has always been available to me. Raj and I are able to take it for granted that now that we're ready, the government will certify and recognize our marriage. We'll automatically be afforded the legal and financial rights and priviledges of a married couple.
Though it was not that long ago that Raj and I wouldn't have been allowed to marry each other. People could have given you "facts" regarding the biological reasons why people of different races couldn't be married. It was unnatural. It was unChristian. It was illegal.
I believe the day will come when having banned same-sex marriage appears as nonsensical and obviously wrong to society as bans on interracial marriage do to the vast majority of us today. That we will come to understand that marriage is a right being denied to citizens by the states, which is unconstitutional under the fourteenth amendment. And more importantly that it is not my right to determine which couples can commit their lives to one another and have that commitment recognized by their government.
Here's the thing: marriage for government purposes is a legal contract between two parties. I find the phrase "civil union" perfectly fitting for the legal side of all marriages. The government is unconcerned with whether we love, honor, and cherish one another. That's the marriage part of the union. That's the part that many, many couples are already living while being denied the legal status and rights and priviledges it affords.
It's certainly your right to have personal and/or religious objections to same-sex relationships. It shouldn't be anybody's right to codify the denial of legal rights to people in those relationships based on their personal and/or religious objections.
I wish marrying Raj didn't mean taking advantage of special rights denied to other couples no less loving and committed than we are. I know the arc of the moral universe bends toward justice; I just wish it would get there faster.
As long as you promise to keep things civil in the comments*, I'll give you a sneak peek at my wedding dress:
*If you suggest that allowing two consenting adults to marry one another will lead to allowing people to marry livestock I will personally come to your house and beat you over the head with that J Crew box. Once I take the dress out.