Raj and I are generally not terribly decisive people. Deciding where to go for dinner usually involves a lot of Whatever you want...It's up to you...What do you feel like...I don't care, what do you feel like...Whatever you want... So it worried me a little when I read people's stories of getting hung up for ages and ages on decisions related to their weddings. Would that be us?
First, we had to choose a location. We really wanted to have it at our first resort in Belize. It would be the most beautiful and laid-back wedding ever. Except there are only thirteen cabins and we couldn't make the math work. The next closest resort was a thirty minute drive over gravel roads that were a little dicey when we were there, during the dry season, and the date we were looking at was near the end of the rainy season. Also, we'd not only be asking people to fly to Belize, but to get passports if they didn't have them, immunizations that cost me around $200, and anti-malarial meds. We didn't want our wedding to be a huge pain in people's necks.
So we decided on Pensacola. I did a few days' worth of googling beach houses and sent Raj the one that looked the best. We briefly doubted the beach house plan and looked at more traditional venues. Then we went ahead and booked the beach house. The whole process took maybe five days. Sure, it likely would have gone on longer if we were able to make appointments and go actually view places, but I still don't see us dragging it out for very long.
One bride wrote about how they'd spent months trying to figure out their color scheme and were still unable to agree or settle on anything. I proposed navy and apple green to Raj. He gave me a hard time about it needing to be navy and orange since he went to Illinois. Then he agreed to my colors, though I don't think he's still particularly clear on what I mean by "apple". Another bride said her desire to not wear a veil had caused weeks of internal turmoil and lots negative comments from other people. I tell people that we'll be on the beach and I don't need a veil blowing all around. Nobody has questioned it.
Next up: save the dates. I looked at a few online and was narrowing down a couple that I really liked. Then I showed one to Raj that I thought was funny. As a joke. Ha ha, wouldn't it be funny if we got these. He said, actually, it would be pretty funny if we got those and I agreed. So we did. No going back and looking at anything else. Done. Check. (Also, let me just say that it's totally worthwhile to google "Coupon [Name of Company]" for anything you buy online. I saved 20% on our save the dates by using a coupon code I found online.)
I think this pretty well set the tone for our wedding planning. Find something we like. Go with it. Don't look back. The notion that everything must be absolutely perfect, thus you must research and consider every possible option seems to be what really drives people mad in this process. It's the brides on Say Yes to the Dress who can't commit to a dress because there might be a better dress out there somewhere who really seem to be miserable about the whole thing.
I did the wedding dress shopping on Saturday. And let me tell you, Internet, I was dreading it. The very idea of going to a bridal salon and having a stranger shove me into lots of dresses that I then have to parade out wearing to show a bunch of people made me ill. Especially when I've heard stories of They don't tell you how much it costs until you have it on. I was also concerned that I'd feel like I was playing dress up. Look, I'm wearing a bride costume! (Don't get me started on the word "bride". I feel like it's for 22 year-olds. Yes, I will be the bride in our wedding. I just can't think of myself as a bride for the next seven months.)
As much as I felt like I should at least make a couple of appointments at actual bridal shops, I just couldn't locate any enthusiasm for it. So I didn't. I made one appointment, at J Crew in Georgetown. I told the sales associate which dresses I liked from the website and she said she'd have them ready to go. You can only bring one or two people with you, due to space limitations, which was a-ok with me.
Katie picked me up at the Metro and, God bless her, handed me a thermal mug full of champagne. Which really took the edge off. We arrived, waited for the previous appointment to end while shopping the sale room, then went on in. There was a small fitting room with all of the dresses I'd chosen in it and an even smaller sort of vestibule outside it for Katie and Leah, the salesperson helping me. I'd put on a dress, only have to show it to two people (especially comforting since none of these dresses actually zipped up) then pass them off to Leah. Most were easy no's. One I thought I might have to purchase so they could cut it off me, but Katie was able to help me out of it. One I liked. One I loved.
It's elegant and pretty and simple and different and a little bit sexy. I felt giddy enough in it to feel like I wouldn't have any regrets about not trying on anything else. Leah was so very low pressure that she wrote the name down for me so I could call back and order it when I was ready. I ordered it on the spot. Done. Check. Let's go to lunch.
I'm sure at some point this wedding planning thing will become more complicated. At least that's what I keep telling myself, but maybe not. We're fortunate enough to have families who are happy to let us do what makes us happy. Thus far, nobody has pressured us about anything and if anybody thinks we're inconsiderate for asking people to travel over the holidays or insane to plan an outdoor wedding in late December, they're not sharing those thoughts with us.
So far, it's been a lot of checking things off the list, which let me tell you is one of my absolute favorite things to do. Just somewhere in the neighborhood of 247 decisions remaining.