Posted January 05, 2013
I'd intended before the wedding to sit down soon after it to write down everything I could remember about the day. I think I pictured this being interactions with people, moments, feelings, details. I'm not sure. But when I did sit down to write about it, this is what came out:
They say that once the wedding is over, all that lasts is the marriage and the photos. And while I’m incredibly happy to keep both of those, I’d argue that we have much more that will last beyond our wedding day. We have the knowledge of just how loved we are by our family and friends. Of course we knew these people cared about us, but it’s overwhelming to see it acted out in the way people come together to make a wedding happen. We saw it in the groomsmen who worked with Raj in the cold to set up lights, tables, chairs, heaters, and luminaries, then went out into the cold wind after dark to relight the luminaries so we could have pictures with them. It was in the twelve hour day my brother spent making cookies for our reception and everyone who pitched in to help him. It was bridesmaids splitting their pre-wedding time between making sure the tables and decorations were set up right and making sure I always had a glass of wine in my hand. We saw it in our parents who every time we turned around were cleaning something up. It was in the guests who sat out in the cold for the ceremony and, without exception, only told me that our pictures would be beautiful. It was in our friend/officiant who took it upon himself to run the reception so it would go smoothly and be a great party. It was my sister reminding me when I worried that I’d dragged people to Florida during a cold snap that people had come for me, not for the weather. And they did. And they danced and celebrated with us and then reheated leftovers for brunch the next day and did all of the dishes too. I’m writing all of this down so that the memory of all of that love shown to us through acts of service will last as long as the photos and the marriage. I wrote in our ceremony that our wedding day was a celebration, not only of our love for one another, but of the love from our family and friends that had made us the people we are. I had no idea how fitting that statement would be.
That's what I want to remember. They say that when it comes down to it, the details won't matter, at least not in the way you thought they would. And of course they're not the important thing, but this feeling of being so loved by everyone around us made me thankful for every minute I put into making the weekend as nice as I could, not for us, but for them. I'm so glad that we made it our priority to find ways to spend as much time as we could with our guests. Because it turns out, even more than we ever knew, that our loved ones are some pretty amazing people. It's because of all of them that I walked into our hotel room that night full of the feeling that I'd had the best day of my life. I think back to that moment, that feeling, every time I start to feel bad about how cold it was or anything else. And then I know how very fortunate I am to have married the best man I ever met surrounded by so many people who love us both. Cold is temporary. Love is forever.