Hold on to that feeeeeeellliiiiiiing!

Things We Did Right:

Hands down, the best thing we did was rent a gigantic house so a ton of people could stay together and we could spend time with them. Our immediate families and most of the wedding party stayed there, along with Raj and me. The house was also a gathering spot for people staying at hotels. We had the world's most laid back rehearsal dinner in the kitchen/living room with catered Indian food using the dishes already in the house. You know how people say the bride and groom never get to eat at their wedding? Well, we both ate full plates of food at our reception. There wasn't all of the pressure on us to be going table to table during dinner because we'd been able to talk to almost everyone the night before. (It also helps with this to have a smal wedding - we ended up under fifty people. And we ate dinner at guest tables instead of our sweetheart table, the better to talk to other people.) On Sunday morning, we invited everyone back for brunch, which consisted entirely of leftover reception food. That night, we ended up with fifteen of us around the huge kitchen table playing Scattergories. With all of our friends and family scattered around the country, it was so nice to be able to just hang out with everyone without the need to plan events or make huge reservations.

Great big beach house

Probably about 18 of us at the gigantic kitchen table during the rehearsal dinner.

We focused on what mattered to us and didn't worry so much about the rest. By far, our biggest expenses were the house, food, and band. (And in the end, heaters and tent walls.) Because our priorities were to spend time with people and throw a good party. Thank goodness we got to eat, because the food was outstanding. And while I was really worried at first that nobody was going to dance, with it so cold and there being such a small crowd, the band really did get everybody into it by the end. The flowers weren't what I asked for, we forgot the sparklers, and the cake, inexlicably, was pink. Did any of that matter to me on our wedding day? Nope. Did it matter that the cake tasted good? Heck yes. And I will never, ever forget dancing and singing along to Don't Stop Believing with thirty or forty of our favorite people.

The cake is pink. Hand to God, I didn't even notice until the next morning at brunch.

We went ahead and did the detail stuff that mattered to us. Like all of those cookies you see in that picture above. I had the idea to have a cookie buffet instead of groom's cake since Raj loves cookies more than anything. These cookies were a lot of work for my brother and various houseguests, but also the biggest hit of the party. Raj really wanted to do white globe lights in a specific style based on an episode of the West Wing, which also led to the idea of candles rather than flowers on the tables to create a whole twinkly light atmosphere. The guys had to spend a lot of time out in the cold to put up all of those lights, but it was so beautiful. And we wanted to put on our own 5k the morning of the wedding so we could hang out with everybody some more. So a whole lot of people who would have rather slept in got up to run or walk with us. And it was a blast.

So pretty!

Toward the beginning before these guys left us in the dust

We gave our money to people and small businesses we liked. Case in point: we went to our caterer's baby shower yesterday. No, we didn't know her prior to the wedding. It's a family business: mom made the cake, dad did the seafood boil, son cooked most of the other food, and daughter-in-law (and soon-to-be-grandson) planned the menu with us and set up decorations. They are such sweet people that I couldn't even bring myself afterward to ask why the cake was pink. Our photographer is not only a talented and funny lady, but a generous giver as well. The owner of the beach house we rented is incredibly friendly and helped us find many of our vendors. Part of why we picked the band we did was because we saw the singer interacting with two little girls dancing at the show we went to. I even liked buying my dress from J Crew over other companies since they give a teacher discount (though, sadly, not on wedding dresses).

Things We Did Wrong:

One of us really ought to have gained the power to control the weather. December was, for the most part, a beautiful month here in Northwest Florida. I got a tan from running outside in tank tops in the 70 degree weather. Not ten days before our wedding, I spent a couple of hours out on the dock between talking on the phone, doing yoga, and plain old sunbathing. Naturally, the weather turned cold just before our beach wedding and semi-outdoor reception. Raj and the guys put a lot of work into closing off the area under the house where the reception was and we rented heaters. We had to give up on having the band set up by the pool where there is a great dance floor space and on using the built-in tiki bar out there because it was too cold. Which was a real bummer, because it was going to be really pretty, but what can you do? It could have been worse. At least it was sunny, unlike the day before. Here's our rehearsal at 4pm on Friday:

And here's 4pm on Saturday:

I don't think it was any warmer, but it sure was a whole lot prettier.

We didn't have any sort of day of coordinator, paid or volunteer. Everyone tells you that you will need this and I meant to find someone, but then I didn't. What I did do was make a detailed wedding day schedule and then not share it with anyone but the caterer. It was in that red binder I'm carrying above at the rehearsal. Fortunately, I referred to it during the rehearsal dinner and people saw and then looked at it. And then a whole lot of people worked together to make everything come together before, during, and after the ceremony. Our caterer told me what a wonderful job our wedding coordinator had done at the reception and it took me no time at all to realize that she was talking about our friend Yulee who grabbed the red binder and ran the show. So it's entirely thanks to our friends that my disorganization didn't bite us in the ass.

I also neglected to check with the post office regarding postcard size. Turns out the minimum size is 3.5x5, meaning that my 3x5 reply cards were too small and several arrived postage due. And I made non-structurally-sound craft items. See, I don't craft, but Pinterest convinced me that I could string together some wine corks to hold up our table cards. And I did! Like so:

Not load-bearing wine corks

And they were cute and functional! But they weren't on the tables when I walked into the reception space, so I asked Amy why not. She asked me whether it was going to bother me to know. I said no, so she showed me this:

It tipped over onto a votive and caught fire. And my immediate reaction was to make sure somebody had gotten a picture of that for just such a blog post where I show you what happens when I try to be crafty. So I guess keeping my priorities in order was something else I did right.

Coming soon: gratuitous photo post! Stay tuned!