How are you today? I'm superfantastic.

I'm told it's already made one person cry. In case that's a selling point for you.

Friends! I have a guest post up today on the blog of our incredibly talented wedding photographer, Amanda Summerlin. You should head over there and read it! After I wrote it, I thought, "Huh. Why couldn't I write something like that after the wedding for my own blog?" Because I was saving it for Amanda, apparently. So clearly, I'm proud of this one and I hope you like it too.

CLICK HERE to read my post!

CLICK HERE to check out Amanda's website!

Ten points to the first person to identify the source of the quote that's the title of my post.

Velkommen!

You guys, I have a post up on A Practical Wedding! A wedding graduate post, specifically. When I found that website, I read every single wedding grad post in the archives and found them so helpful to both my planning and my sanity. Maybe you could head over there and read it!

Folks coming over from APW, welcome! In case you were curious about the unintentionally pink cake, here it is.

And since I mentioned them at the end and they weren't pictured, here is the Here Comes the Bride sign and cookie buffet.

I've actually been meaning ever since we got our professional photos from Amanda to share some of them with you. Maybe now I'll finally get around to that. Until I do, here's what I think is my very favorite. Though the one on top of the post at APW would be a close second.

And a happy Syttende Mai to all of my Norwegian friends!

Maybe you are in search of ceremony readings? Or you just like pretty words?

Both an up- and downside of having a friend officiate your ceremony is getting to/having to write your own ceremony. I was kind of excited about it early on and bought a book to help me get started. Then I became paralyzed by the enormity of the task.

What finally got me going was to start choosing other people's words and building the ceremony around them. I chose a prayer from the Wedding Ceremony Planner book and made some slight modifications to it. I settled on two poems to use as readings and then Raj found a third. These made up by far the longest part of our ceremony and set the tone for the rest of it. I thought they were really representative of us, our views on love, and the kind of marriage we wanted. Namely that while falling in love may be a romantic feeling, real lasting love is a decision and one we make over and over. And that our chosen lifestyle is one of being partners in adventure and traveling companions. I did not intend for them to represent a seminar in American Literature. Apparently New Englanders speak to us.

The Ivy Crown, by William Carlos Williams

The whole process is a lie,
        unless,
            crowned by excess,
It break forcefully,
        one way or another,
            from its confinement—
or find a deeper well.
        Antony and Cleopatra
            were right;
they have shown
        the way. I love you
            or I do not live
at all.

Daffodil time
         is past. This is
              summer, summer!
the heart says,
         and not even the full of it.
              No doubts
are permitted—
         though they will come
              and may
before our time
         overwhelm us.
              We are only mortal
but being mortal
         can defy our fate.
              We may
by an outside chance
         even win! We do not
              look to see
jonquils and violets
         come again
              but there are,
still,
         the roses!

Romance has no part in it.
         The business of love is
              cruelty which,
by our wills,
         we transform
              to live together.
It has its seasons,
         for and against,
              whatever the heart
fumbles in the dark
         to assert
              toward the end of May.
Just as the nature of briars
         is to tear flesh,
              I have proceeded
through them.
         Keep
              the briars out,
they say.
         You cannot live
              and keep free of
briars.

Children pick flowers.
         Let them.
              Though having them
in hand
         they have no further use for them
              but leave them crumpled
at the curb's edge.

At our age the imagination
         across the sorry facts
              lifts us
to make roses
         stand before thorns.
              Sure
love is cruel
         and selfish
              and totally obtuse—
at least, blinded by the light,
         young love is.
              But we are older,
I to love
         and you to be loved,
              we have,
no matter how,
         by our wills survived
              to keep
the jeweled prize
         always
              at our finger tips.
We will it so
         and so it is
              past all accident.

The Master Speed, by Robert Frost

No speed of wind or water rushing by
But you have speed far greater. You can climb
Back up a stream of radiance to the sky,
And back through history up the stream of time.
And you were given this swiftness, not for haste
Nor chiefly that you may go where you will,
But in the rush of everything to waste,
That you may have the power of standing still-
Off any still or moving thing you say.
Two such as you with such a master speed
Cannot be parted nor be swept away
From one another once you are agreed
That life is only life forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar

from Song of the Open Road, by Walt Whitman

Allons! we must not stop here,
However sweet these laid-up stores,
however convenient this dwelling we cannot remain here,
However shelter'd this port and however calm these waters,
we must not anchor here,
However welcome the hospitality that surrounds us
we are permitted to receive it but a little while.

Allons! the inducements shall be greater,
We will sail pathless and wild seas,
and the Yankee clipper speeds by under full sail.

Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law:
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

If you look at the text of Song of the Open Road, you will find that it is much, much longer. I found a selection from it in the comments of a post about ceremony readings on Offbeat Bride and really liked it. But when I looked at the full poem, I realized that wording had been changed in parts from the original. So I made my own chopped up version of it by picking and choosing lines, but without changing the words. While it may have opened us up to a visit from Zombie Walt Whitman, it felt worth it in the end.

In looking for readings, I also found Union by Robert Fulghum, which we used as the lead in to our vows:

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks – all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will" – those late night talks that included "someday and somehow and maybe"- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.

All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word."

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband, this is my wife.

It was when I came to writing the Charge to the Couple that I got really stuck. How do you write a charge to yourself? What I ended up doing was starting with this selection from Madeliene L'Engle's The Irrational Season and then writing a short paragraph to go after it, charging us to do what Madeline said.

Ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature. To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person.

Really, aside from that paragraph, all I wrote was the welcome and our vows. In the end, I decided to do a combined approach to traditional and original vows where we'd say "I do" to the traditional vows read by our officiant and then recite original vows during the ring exchange. They are not artfully worded, but it was the best I could do to capture what I thought was the essence of what we were committing to:

I choose you today to be my lifelong partner and I promise, no matter where life takes us or what difficulties we face, to choose you every day.  I promise to encourage, inspire, support and care for you. I promise to put our team first and that home will always be wherever we’re together. I will be there to laugh with you, lift you up, and walk by your side, hand in hand through the adventures we seek out and the challenges presented to us. As long as I live, I will love you. This is my solemn vow.

That's pretty much the whole thing. I worried a little when it was so cold that people might be unhappy with my decision to include three poems, but really the whole thing was over in probably ten minutes or less. The writer in me would have loved to be able to write a meaningful and moving ceremony from scratch. But I have always been a reader as well and in the end, was happy to be able to compile a collection of writings that said what we wanted our ceremony to convey.

I'm pretty sure this brings us to the end of Blush and Bashful (posts regarding the wedding). Just about in time for Adventures in Asia posts to begin.

Just a few more. I swear, I can quit anytime.

Then I really will (after just one more post) be done talking about the wedding. Probably.

A few things. Yes, Raj is holding a machete there. We used it to cut the cake. He felt so strongly when we were in Belize that he needed a machete that, against my better judgment, I bought him one for our anniversary last July. Second, I did not buy the white coat for the wedding. I bought it last winter because it was on sale and so pretty and I laugh in the face of practical considerations. Third, the cake smash. We smack talked for months about this. We even discussed rain ponchos and/or a kiddie pool filled with cake so we could go ahead and just wrestle in it. When it came down to it, Raj tells me he was actually planning to be nice. Until I smashed my piece in his face. Then he smashed back, but everyone remained upright and all frosting smeared above the neck.

How do you make the world's most adorable ring bearers even more adorable? Red converse and a newsie cap. Obviously.

I am posting this picture 100% because my arm looks really ripped in it. I can admit that.

Here you can see the coloring book I made for the kids and also kind of see the mad libs I made for everyone to keep them busy before dinner and also entertain us afterward. Both are examples of wedding stuff that certainly would not have happened if I'd been working a full-time job in the months before the wedding. The coloring books in particular were a real pain in the butt to format, so I was glad to see them get used.

The girls were so excited about the dancing (they started asking me days in advance "When it will be time for EVERYONE to dance?") and demonstrated some sweet moves. Eventually, Lilah pretty well fell asleep while holding Raj's and my hands and swinging her right leg back and forth.

In this picture, I demonstrate that with the proper commitment, you can have your cake and eat it too and do the Cupid Shuffle all at once.

The boys watch the band.

Hey Raj, you forgot to get low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.

As I mentioned, we forgot to bring the sparklers I bought for our grand exit from the reception. It was a bummer, because they would have made for pretty pictures, but it was kind of for the best. See, we had six friends stay an extra day in Florida to celebrate New Year's Eve at our house, and we ended up burning all of them out at the end of our dock. Eight people, two bottles of champagne, and one hundred three foot sparklers. It was awesome.

We also had twelve wish lanterns that were meant to be floating in the pool during the dancing, except it had been too cold to be out there.

We floated them out into the bay. Then we went to bed and I slept eleven hours. When I woke up, all of our guests were gone and the party was officially over. It had been fun to be the bride for a few days, but all things considered, I find that I prefer being the wife.

At least I'm not in your living room with a slide projector. Yet.

Oh hi, Internet. I'm back from Albuquerque, where I learned the reason for Raj's daily full-body lotion habit. He's picky about his lotion brand (Lubriderm) and can tell you how many minutes you have post-shower for maximum lotion absorbtion. I was in New Mexico for less than two days before all of the moisture had been sucked out of my body. We had a nice time though otherwise, visiting with people and watching big fat snowflakes fall.

Now I'm back in Florida for a few days before heading to Texas, trying to get stuff put aside for our trips before the movers come and pack up the rest. The wedding is feeling like it was long, long ago and maybe you're all well and truly over it. But I promised you a gratuitous photo post and so you'll get one. Whether you want it or not!

This one, as the watermark indicates, comes from our photographer, Amanda Summerlin. She has a blog post up with a preview of our photos and, you guys. I can't even. I love them so much.

After the above photo, one of my favorites comes from our first look. I'm glad we did a first look for a number of reasons, not least of which is that when there's stuff to be done, it's a real pain in the butt to be stuck in a bedroom because youre hiding. But I was surprised by how anxious I was to get out there and see him. I wanted to see his reaction, sure, but we also just hadn't spent more than a few seconds at a time together in the days before and I missed him. If you clicked through to the picures, you've already seen that I had henna done on my hands that morning. I planned it as a surprise for Raj (it's traditional for Indian brides to have it done, though it's typically much more intricate) and the photo of him seeing it for the first time makes every minute I put into it worthwhile. Which was a lot of minutes. Like, more than I put into finding and purchasing my dress. It's not easy to find someone to do bridal mehndi in Penscaola, especially when it has to be done on Saturday morning at 8am. Paul Hernandez of Hennawi House came through for me and then Amanda got a great photo of the payoff.

I arrived at the salon with surgical tape over the henna, making me look like a burn victim. I got my make up done first, then Arizona Holly brought me a mimosa with a straw when I got to my hair stylist's chair. Have I mentioned that I had the best bridesmaids ever?

Also the world's most adorable flower girls, Allie, Shelby, and Lilah. They were MUCH more interested in my sparkle shoes than my dress, which makes sense. Sparkle, after all, is Lilah's third favorite color (after pink and purple). While Shelby is growing up far too quickly for my taste, I love that she's striking the little girl belly-out stance here and rocking the tiny tigtails. My sister-in-law Dawn made the hair bows and while I thanked her for that, it only now occurred to me that it's only because she asked whether there were any and then distributed them herself that the programs I made ever left a box in the kitchen. Thanks, Dawn!

When we started looking at cake toppers on Etsy, Raj was shocked and appalled at how much they cost. So he thought he'd take a whack at making some. Clearly if one of us is going to craft, it should be Raj. (Our caterer, concerned that they might tip over in the wind, put straws around them, which she removed before the reception. They never did tip over though.)

During the group portraits, Owen took off running as five year-old boys are wont to do. On his return, he kicked cold sand into his brother's shoes, which Braden found deeply upsetting. I'm told that the highlight of the processional was how, on their way up the aisle, Dawn kept trying to put Braden down and he would just curl his feet further up. I hope this is on the video because I was on the other side of the dunes and missed it.

That's a good looking group of people, no? I let the girls pick out their own short navy dresses in hopes they'd end up with something they'd want to wear again and I bought the pashminas at a market in Charleston on our way down here. Raj gave the guys some options of what to wear and they went with khakis and white shirts because how easy is that? Also super-beachy.

Raj decided on a suit, which he purchased three weeks before the wedding, unlike Yulee who'd started shopping as soon as we asked him to be our officiant. The Facebook comment on this photo of the two of them up front waiting on the processional, was that it looks like a page out of a menswear catalog. (That white puffball on Raj's lapel is to keep the wind off the microphone for the videographer. It immediately blew away when he went to return the microphone to the guy after the ceremony.)

And here's me (with San Antonio Holly over my right shoulder) waiting on the processional to start. Which seems as good a place as any to stop for today. I'd intended this to be just one photo post with minimal words (because apparently I don't know my wordy self at all) but it's clearly gotten away from me. Ceremony and reception photos to come.

We Interrupt the Never-Ending Wedding Recap for this Important Announcement

I loved our wedding. I'm so glad we did it the way we wanted and had a wedding that represented who we are. I had a great time and will always treasure the memories. 

And I'm so glad it's over and I never, ever have to plan another wedding again. I went to some weddings as a kid, but started really going to a lot of weddings when I was 18, meaning I've had 17 years to overthink how I'd want to do each and every thing. That's mental space that I've gotten back and I think we can all agree that I can use it.

Now that the wedding is over, I can take a well-deserved rest and settle back into regular life.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

Raj got his orders the week of the wedding. Early next month we'll leave Pensacola. For Okinawa. Japan.

It's exactly what we wanted and I'm more excited than I can say to have the opportunity to live overseas and be able to travel around Asia. There's great diving off Okinawa and I do love reading that I "might need a light jacket on the coldest days". That's my kind of winter.

There is just a lot to do to get ready. We're working on selling furniture on Craig's List and sorting through the rest of our stuff to get rid of things. We don't know if we'll be living on base (where our housing will be furnished) or off (where it may or may not be) which makes things tricky. I have to get cleared through the military to move overseas, which involves a lot of steps and paperwork.

And we're trying to plan a honeymoon in between to Burma. Except apparently February is the peak season in Burma and we're planning at the last minute. Raj leaves today for Albuquerque to visit his family and I'll join him on Saturday (after a 10k that someone thought it would be a good idea to sign up for, back before the wedding and two weeks of subbing booze and cake for physical activity) and we both fly back on Wednesday. Movers will come on Friday, then I leave on Monday for a week in San Antonio. Raj will fly in on Friday and we have our reception for friends and family there that Saturday. We're back on Sunday for a week before Raj's graduation. Then we become homeless for a week before departing for Asia, left to wander the wilds of Florida. (Or visit friends in Tampa. One or the other.)

As for regular life? Maybe that'll start sometime in March, once we figure out what regular life means for us on the other side of the world.

Hold on to that feeeeeeellliiiiiiing!

Things We Did Right:

Hands down, the best thing we did was rent a gigantic house so a ton of people could stay together and we could spend time with them. Our immediate families and most of the wedding party stayed there, along with Raj and me. The house was also a gathering spot for people staying at hotels. We had the world's most laid back rehearsal dinner in the kitchen/living room with catered Indian food using the dishes already in the house. You know how people say the bride and groom never get to eat at their wedding? Well, we both ate full plates of food at our reception. There wasn't all of the pressure on us to be going table to table during dinner because we'd been able to talk to almost everyone the night before. (It also helps with this to have a smal wedding - we ended up under fifty people. And we ate dinner at guest tables instead of our sweetheart table, the better to talk to other people.) On Sunday morning, we invited everyone back for brunch, which consisted entirely of leftover reception food. That night, we ended up with fifteen of us around the huge kitchen table playing Scattergories. With all of our friends and family scattered around the country, it was so nice to be able to just hang out with everyone without the need to plan events or make huge reservations.

Great big beach house

Probably about 18 of us at the gigantic kitchen table during the rehearsal dinner.

We focused on what mattered to us and didn't worry so much about the rest. By far, our biggest expenses were the house, food, and band. (And in the end, heaters and tent walls.) Because our priorities were to spend time with people and throw a good party. Thank goodness we got to eat, because the food was outstanding. And while I was really worried at first that nobody was going to dance, with it so cold and there being such a small crowd, the band really did get everybody into it by the end. The flowers weren't what I asked for, we forgot the sparklers, and the cake, inexlicably, was pink. Did any of that matter to me on our wedding day? Nope. Did it matter that the cake tasted good? Heck yes. And I will never, ever forget dancing and singing along to Don't Stop Believing with thirty or forty of our favorite people.

The cake is pink. Hand to God, I didn't even notice until the next morning at brunch.

We went ahead and did the detail stuff that mattered to us. Like all of those cookies you see in that picture above. I had the idea to have a cookie buffet instead of groom's cake since Raj loves cookies more than anything. These cookies were a lot of work for my brother and various houseguests, but also the biggest hit of the party. Raj really wanted to do white globe lights in a specific style based on an episode of the West Wing, which also led to the idea of candles rather than flowers on the tables to create a whole twinkly light atmosphere. The guys had to spend a lot of time out in the cold to put up all of those lights, but it was so beautiful. And we wanted to put on our own 5k the morning of the wedding so we could hang out with everybody some more. So a whole lot of people who would have rather slept in got up to run or walk with us. And it was a blast.

So pretty!

Toward the beginning before these guys left us in the dust

We gave our money to people and small businesses we liked. Case in point: we went to our caterer's baby shower yesterday. No, we didn't know her prior to the wedding. It's a family business: mom made the cake, dad did the seafood boil, son cooked most of the other food, and daughter-in-law (and soon-to-be-grandson) planned the menu with us and set up decorations. They are such sweet people that I couldn't even bring myself afterward to ask why the cake was pink. Our photographer is not only a talented and funny lady, but a generous giver as well. The owner of the beach house we rented is incredibly friendly and helped us find many of our vendors. Part of why we picked the band we did was because we saw the singer interacting with two little girls dancing at the show we went to. I even liked buying my dress from J Crew over other companies since they give a teacher discount (though, sadly, not on wedding dresses).

Things We Did Wrong:

One of us really ought to have gained the power to control the weather. December was, for the most part, a beautiful month here in Northwest Florida. I got a tan from running outside in tank tops in the 70 degree weather. Not ten days before our wedding, I spent a couple of hours out on the dock between talking on the phone, doing yoga, and plain old sunbathing. Naturally, the weather turned cold just before our beach wedding and semi-outdoor reception. Raj and the guys put a lot of work into closing off the area under the house where the reception was and we rented heaters. We had to give up on having the band set up by the pool where there is a great dance floor space and on using the built-in tiki bar out there because it was too cold. Which was a real bummer, because it was going to be really pretty, but what can you do? It could have been worse. At least it was sunny, unlike the day before. Here's our rehearsal at 4pm on Friday:

And here's 4pm on Saturday:

I don't think it was any warmer, but it sure was a whole lot prettier.

We didn't have any sort of day of coordinator, paid or volunteer. Everyone tells you that you will need this and I meant to find someone, but then I didn't. What I did do was make a detailed wedding day schedule and then not share it with anyone but the caterer. It was in that red binder I'm carrying above at the rehearsal. Fortunately, I referred to it during the rehearsal dinner and people saw and then looked at it. And then a whole lot of people worked together to make everything come together before, during, and after the ceremony. Our caterer told me what a wonderful job our wedding coordinator had done at the reception and it took me no time at all to realize that she was talking about our friend Yulee who grabbed the red binder and ran the show. So it's entirely thanks to our friends that my disorganization didn't bite us in the ass.

I also neglected to check with the post office regarding postcard size. Turns out the minimum size is 3.5x5, meaning that my 3x5 reply cards were too small and several arrived postage due. And I made non-structurally-sound craft items. See, I don't craft, but Pinterest convinced me that I could string together some wine corks to hold up our table cards. And I did! Like so:

Not load-bearing wine corks

And they were cute and functional! But they weren't on the tables when I walked into the reception space, so I asked Amy why not. She asked me whether it was going to bother me to know. I said no, so she showed me this:

It tipped over onto a votive and caught fire. And my immediate reaction was to make sure somebody had gotten a picture of that for just such a blog post where I show you what happens when I try to be crafty. So I guess keeping my priorities in order was something else I did right.

Coming soon: gratuitous photo post! Stay tuned!

First Impressions

I'd intended before the wedding to sit down soon after it to write down everything I could remember about the day. I think I pictured this being interactions with people, moments, feelings, details. I'm not sure. But when I did sit down to write about it, this is what came out:

They say that once the wedding is over, all that lasts is the marriage and the photos. And while I’m incredibly happy to keep both of those, I’d argue that we have much more that will last beyond our wedding day. We have the knowledge of just how loved we are by our family and friends. Of course we knew these people cared about us, but it’s overwhelming to see it acted out in the way people come together to make a wedding happen. We saw it in the groomsmen who worked with Raj in the cold to set up lights, tables, chairs, heaters, and luminaries, then went out into the cold wind after dark to relight the luminaries so we could have pictures with them. It was in the twelve hour day my brother spent making cookies for our reception and everyone who pitched in to help him. It was bridesmaids splitting their pre-wedding time between making sure the tables and decorations were set up right and making sure I always had a glass of wine in my hand. We saw it in our parents who every time we turned around were cleaning something up. It was in the guests who sat out in the cold for the ceremony and, without exception, only told me that our pictures would be beautiful. It was in our friend/officiant who took it upon himself to run the reception so it would go smoothly and be a great party. It was my sister reminding me when I worried that I’d dragged people to Florida during a cold snap that people had come for me, not for the weather. And they did. And they danced and celebrated with us and then reheated leftovers for brunch the next day and did all of the dishes too. I’m writing all of this down so that the memory of all of that love shown to us through acts of service will last as long as the photos and the marriage. I wrote in our ceremony that our wedding day was a celebration, not only of our love for one another, but of the love from our family and friends that had made us the people we are. I had no idea how fitting that statement would be.

That's what I want to remember. They say that when it comes down to it, the details won't matter, at least not in the way you thought they would. And of course they're not the important thing, but this feeling of being so loved by everyone around us made me thankful for every minute I put into making the weekend as nice as I could, not for us, but for them. I'm so glad that we made it our priority to find ways to spend as much time as we could with our guests. Because it turns out, even more than we ever knew, that our loved ones are some pretty amazing people. It's because of all of them that I walked into our hotel room that night full of the feeling that I'd had the best day of my life. I think back to that moment, that feeling, every time I start to feel bad about how cold it was or anything else. And then I know how very fortunate I am to have married the best man I ever met surrounded by so many people who love us both. Cold is temporary. Love is forever.

Shortest Sentence in the English Language

I do.

*There is a lot to process and it's difficult to know where to even start, but I promise, real posts are coming soon.

And Counting

Our wedding day now shows up in the ten day forecast*. Not only will this allow me to fruitlessly obsess over the weather, it also drives home how soon it really is. It's once I can see it in the ten day forecast that an upcoming trip feels real to me. Because future events seem so far away that they'll just never get here and then I'm shocked every time when they do. Time, man. All linear and shit.

*Currently, 62 and sunny with 0% chance of rain. Having done a little happy dance and then typed that out, I fully expect that by tomorrow, the forecast will include a blizzard.

I'm realizing that I've really mentally skipped over Christmas this year. Our roommate put up her tree and other decorations, so aside from putting gifts for Raj, my parents, and my nieces and nephews into bags, I haven't done any preparing at all. Christmas cards are just not happening this year, so if you normally get one from me, consider yourself wished a merry Christmas and happy new year via blog post. There is just too much wedding stuff to do. But if there's one thing we learned from The Grinch, it's that Christmas will come anyway. Our parents all arrive on Christmas Eve and we'll spend a couple of days together before moving into the wedding beach house and the wedding long weekend officially begins.

Other people start arriving on Wednesday. On Thursday, I'll have girls night out with my bridesmaids and on Friday, we'll have our rehearsal and dinner at the beach house. Hopefully nobody will be expecting The Fancy for the rehearsal dinner, because they will be sorely disappointed. We're serving Indian food, most likely on paper plates for ease of clean up, and I refuse to concern myself with tablecloths or centerpieces for this event. Wine bottles make a pleasing centerpiece. Not mod podged and flower-filled wine bottles. Bottles of wine. For drinking. Drink to forget the lack of tablecloths, guests! Then watch twelve minutes of Raj and Lori: A Photo Retrospective. And then off to bed with you!

Because Saturday starts with a 7am Wedding Day 5(ish)k. I wanted this run/walk to go from the hotel to the beach house and back, but the shortest I could make that was 3.75 miles, which more than stretches the bounds of calling it a 5k. So instead, it's a loop that's just shy of 3 miles, starting and ending at the hotel. You're welcome, participants! Raj ordered shirts for the people who got back to us with their sizes. And that's all the planning that's gone into that.

And then we have something else, later that afternoon...it's the uh...right, the wedding ceremony. That's it. Just the point to this whole thing. It just gets a little bit lost in the shuffle since it doesn't require all that much planning. We asked a friend to officiate. I wrote a ceremony. Where by "wrote" I mean "poached whole passages from better writers and strung them together with a couple of short paragraphs of my own composing". Seriously. Why should I try to write something profound about marriage when Madeleine L'Engle already did it better than I ever could? So I just stick "In the words of Madeleine L'Engle..." in front of what she wrote and there you have a charge to the couple. Easy. The rental guys will drop off some benches on the beach and it's a ceremony space. You want decorations? It's called THE GULF OF MEXICO.

So clearly most of the work is going into the reception. I think this is pretty standard. I don't want to give too much away here, but here's a sneak peek into the reception plans: tablecloths. Also non-drinkable centerpieces! And food! SO MUCH FOOD. If you are attending our wedding, please start fasting now. We guessed that about half of our invited guests would attend and when we landed at a third instead, we could only cut the food back so much. Eat up, friends! I'm pretty sure I know what we'll be serving for Sunday brunch. And Sunday dinner. And Monday lunch. And so on.

The most recent incarnation of the to do list is in a Google Drive spreadsheet, the better for sharing with Raj. Things are being checked off, albeit more slowly than seems possible. (On my part. Raj already checked three or four of his things off this morning.) This is due in part to having to split focus with also trying to figure out where we're moving in a month and a half. With any luck (maybe a lot of luck) we'll have orders soon after the holidays and can start planning for that.

In the meantime, I've got to print escort cards and attempt to understand that this is all happening next week. And to remember that what matters is not whether the centerpieces even make it on the tables, but that a lot of our favorite people are putting significant effort and expense into being here to celebrate with us. That I'll stand up with my favorite person and we'll say that we promise to always love each other. That the end of all of this work is the beginning of everything else. In nine days.

Picture Pages, Picture Pages (Plus a GIVEAWAY! For You!)

One project I really wanted to do for the wedding was a photo slideshow to show at the rehearsal dinner. I always love seeing the pictures of the bride and groom as babies and little kids. And making slideshows in iDVD is super easy. I make one for Raj twice a year, on our anniversary and Valentines Day. No problem.

This project turned into a bit of a monster. What I hadn't taken into account was all of the scanning of photos from before we were using digital cameras. Just sorting through my pictures was an undertaking. A couple of moves ago, I decided to get rid of my many bulky and mismatched photo albums. I put all of my picures into plastic photo storage boxes. Which did make moving and storing them much easier. But also made looking through them a giant pain in the butt. In part, this had to do with the sheer number, many of which I don't even care about. I decided that at some point, I should definitely sort through them, throw a lot of them away, and put what was left into organized albums.

You know, sometime. In the future.

Raj's photos already are organized in albums, but the digital photos presented a bit of a challenge for both of us. A lot of his are on an external drive. Some of mine are on a flash drive. Many were lost when my computer were stolen, so the few I have from the era between backing up on a flash drive and getting Paolo is sparsely covered by photos nabbed from the blog and from Facebook, once I'd started using it. The ones of Raj and me were easy since they're all here in my iPhoto, not backed up on anything because I NEVER LEARN.

I also got some pictures printed so I can update our scrapbooks since we plan to put those out at the wedding for people to look through. These are the only pictures I print anymore and that's usually only a couple per trip or event. I usually end up printing a few more than I need, which get stuck into one of my photo boxes.

So I am wondering, Internet, if any of you have any photo solutions. What do you do with your pictures, new and old? Do you print them anymore? Organize them on your computer or online? Put the ones where you look particularly thin up on Facebook?

Because I am not above bribing you to respond to me, but also mostly because the nice folks at Printcopia offered us the opportunity, I will give a free 8x10 canvas photo print to one person who leaves a comment between now and oh, let's say 6:00pm Central on Tuesday, December 11. Just leave a comment telling me what you do with photos, or whether you take them at all, to be entered for a chance to win. I'll put the comment numbers into a randomizer and the winner gets a free canvas. Make sure you use a valid email address for your comment so I can contact you about your print.

The rest of you might consider purchasing canvas prints for your loved ones as holiday gifts. Or maybe you need some car magnets, vinyl banners, or lawn signs? I don't know what you people do with your free time.

Disclosure: In addition to the free print for one of you, I received a free (awesome) print in exchange for mentioning Printcopia. Mine is of the waterfall where we got engaged!

In which tying the knot involves potential for rope burns

A couple of people have asked me whether I plan to get a manicure before the wedding. They tell me that people will be looking at my hands and there will be pictures. To be honest, I've never had a manicure. I haven't even painted my fingernails in probably at least a decade. My toenails are almost always painted, but on my hands, it just chips so quickly and feels like more trouble than it's worth. I may or may not paint them for the wedding. I don't know. I wouldn't be opposed to a manicure, but I'm not excited about adding an appointment to what will already be a hectic few days.

But the much better question, since people will be looking at my hands and there will be pictures, is whether I have a plan to avoid maiming myself. A couple of weeks ago, I burned a knuckle on my right hand while putting dinner in the oven. (Pro tip: Don't touch the sides. They're hot!) At the time, I thought that I should probably try not to do that with my left hand just before the wedding. All set.

I just forgot to be vigilant against acorn squash chopping accidents.

Sure, this will be healed a month from now, but that's no guarantee at all that there won't be a new one. On the one hand, not lovely. On the other, people are always looking for ways to personalize their weddings and wedding photos. Accident-prone is a part of who I am. It's not maybe the way I'd choose to inject personality into any ring photos, but what are you going to do?

A helpful message stressed over at A Practical Wedding is that people don't change who they are because it's your wedding. If anything they reveal it even more. Your flaky friend isn't suddenly going to become your rock. Your cousin who always needs to be the center of attention isn't going to become a shrinking voilet so you can have the spotlight.

A related lesson I'm trying to learn is that the wedding doesn't change who I am either. Being the bride will not bestow breezy elegance upon me. If anything, it just means more people will be looking at me when I inevitably spill my drink on my dress.

Fortunately, being the bride does bestow up on me the ability to make sure the bar is stocked with my drink of choice. And being myself means that drink is champagne, so at least it'll blend with my ivory dress. And any potential band-aids.

In which I sneakily try to get you to plan my wedding for me. Again.

A topic that comes up fairly often over at A Practical Wedding is tradition. Not that there tend to be entire posts (like this one) devoted to the topic. More often it's in the context of people describing their weddings or asking questions about wedding planning.

Some women will articulate their reasons for going through with certain traditions or having what they consider to be overall traditional weddings. They like the idea of doing the same sorts of things and saying the same words that generations before them have done and said. Tradition can be a very meaningful thing. Some women though, admit to having had traditional weddings with a hint of regret or shame. Maybe they wish they hadn't gone along with the wedding they felt they were supposed to have. Or maybe they did have the wedding they wanted, but felt judged for not being more creative.

Then we have the women who have had or are planning non-traditional weddings. Which can, of course, mean a million different things. These women worry that their wedding will confuse or upset their guests and they sometimes seem to wonder whether it was worth the effort to reinvent the wedding wheel. But they also feel they've been true to themselves and their relationships. Often their worries have been proven unfounded by guests who get into the spirit of the day.

So, what kind of wedding are we having? Neither. And both. It's a continuum is what I'm trying to say and we'll be somewhere between the extremes. We're not including traditions that aren't meaningful to us just because they're traditional, but we're also not bucking tradition just for the sake of doing it.

There's lots of traditional stuff. I'm wearing a white dress (well, ivory). We have colors, a bridal party, bouquets, and centerpieces. The ceremony will feature a center aisle because why waste time and mental energy trying to think of something more interesting? We'll cut a multi-tiered cake, people will make toasts, and dancing will begin with the traditional first dances.

One tradition that gets some discussion is the idea of being "given away". No, I am not a commodity changing hands between two men. I am not even being passed off from my father's house to my husband's as many much younger brides have been and are. I've been on my own for over thirteen years. Still, this is a tradition we're including because it's meaningful to me, not just because this way I'll have someone to hang onto in case of tripping (though that is a side benefit, for sure). I like the symbolism of passing from our individual families into a new one that we're creating together. Raj's parents may not be officially giving him away, but all of our immediate family will be there, standing behind us, both metaphorically and literally. And, let's be honest, there is a very real sense in which I am indeed being handed off from my dad to Raj. It's not my dad I call anymore to ask whether a mechanic is ripping me off or to come and install a dimmer switch in my bathroom. While I'm sure they could have a long, head-shaking conversation about my total ineptitude in certain areas, both Raj and my dad seem to think that I'm pretty great overall, so I like feeling that my dad is entrusting me to Raj, rather than, you know, off-loading.

So, yeah, pretty traditional in a lot of ways. But not entirely. Some things I think I've already mentioned here, like how I won't be wearing a veil. Occasionally, I start to think that maybe I need at least a birdcage veil and I look at them online and then I realize that I'm considering it not because I want one, but out of the misguided feeling that in order to properly be married, I should have something on my head. Some things we've eliminated not because we especially despise them, but because we don't care about them, so taking them off the list saves us time and money, like unity candles and bouttonieres. And I flatly refuse to force all of the single people to assemble in the spotlight for a bouquet and garter toss. We're not in our twenties anymore and it's lost its luster.

The thing that I'm undecided about on this note is vows. On the one hand, the traditional vows are really very meaningful. On the other hand, I really like the idea of writing our own. I haven't actually discussed this with Raj yet, so it's possible he'll have strong feelings one way or the other and my dilemma will be moot. But I'd be interested in hearing what you all have to say on the topic. Traditional, unique, or some combination of the two? What would you do, what did you do, or what would you do if you had it to do over again? On the vows or really any of the rest of it.

D-I-Why?

I think the wedding blogs were trying to do us a favor. You don't have to buy all the things! You can save money and make your wedding ultra-personal through the magic of DIY*!

*do it yourself

For some people, this works well. In others, the message seems to cause some craft-related panic and/or feelings of inferiority. Instead of making us feel like failures if we don't throw forty grand at the Wedding Industrial Complex, they make us feel like failures if we don't hand-make everything from the decorations to the pies. (Because who is still serving wedding cake? Wedding cake is so traditional and boring!) (ME, THAT'S WHO BECAUSE CAKE IS DELICIOUS.)

Here's the thing: I do not have crafting skills. It's a good thing the blogs haven't convinced me that I need to hand-make a hundred paper pinwheels or my wedding will be ruined, because I lack both the patience and desire to do so.

On the other hand, I do have some computer skills and some time to spend on Pinterest. Which lead me to the things I will in fact be doing myself.

It seemed like a logo would be a good way to make everything more cohesive. A friend of mine asked a graphic designer friend how much she'd charge to make us a logo. She sent me samples of her work, which was beautiful, and a quote of $200. While she certainly deserves to be well-compensated for her time and talent, this was simply not in our budget. So I used Microsoft Word clip art and a free font I downloaded to make a less beautiful but completely free logo.

Seahorses are a bit of a thing with Raj and me, largely due to the lots of time we've spent at beaches. And it makes sense for our wedding, what with it being at the beach and all. So it's a (clip art) seahorse with our initials. It's on top of the invitation that I wrote (with wording inspired by something I saw on PInterest) and designed in Word.

And I had a custom stamp made of it here which so far I've used to stamp white kraft paper bags to use for hotel welcome bags and our favors.

Like so.

Our favors, a cookie bar, represent what A Practical Wedding refers to as DIT for do it together. I'm not crazy enough to think I can make hundreds of cookies the week of our wedding. Fortunately, I have a brother who is a highly talented cookie baker. He's agreed to bake the bulk of the cookies (I think we picked eight recipes) that week while I contribute three kinds that I'll make ahead and freeze. (Yes, eleven kinds of cookies. Unless you think maybe that's not enough?)

I will be making one decoration: our centerpieces. But only because this requires no talent whatsoever. They're based on something I saw on Pinterest, just a glass cylinder with sand and shells in the bottom and a pillar candle in the middle. I bought the cylinders and candles here. Shells and sand we've got. Thank you, Florida.

My final contribution will be our photo slideshow. Because if we can expand our definition of crafting to include iDVD, then I'm crafty after all.

For a minute, I thought maybe I should order bulk flowers and make my own bouquets. I saw a video that made it look so easy! Then I regained my senses. I will also not be attempting to do my own hair, but I did get a lesson at the MAC counter at Nordstrom and buy some fancy make up so I can practice in the hopes of learning to do my own make up. Whether I succeed in this remains to be seen. Uncertainty, thy name is liquid eyeliner.

Oh, and there's the small matter of writing the ceremony. Still way more manageable than pinwheels.

Eating my words and also a lot of vegetables and lean protein

Confession: I used to wonder how anybody could have trouble losing weight for her wedding. You have a goal date and the motivation of knowing lots of people will be looking at you, you'll be wearing a white (which we all know is not slimming) dress, and there will be hundreds of pictures. Pictures that you really want to like a whole lot, given that they're your tangible wedding memories and also that you probably paid a small fortune for them.

(Did you guys know how much wedding photographers cost? It's A LOT. Which makes sense, once you consider the money they put out for equipment and the hours they spend editing your photos, but it's still a little bit shocking at first. Fortunately, we found a very cool and also reasonable photographer.)

At first, my smugness regarding the ease with which I'd lose weight before the wedding looked totally justifiable. In the month after we got engaged, I lost six pounds. In order to help myself stay motivated, I ordered my wedding dress a size smaller than I thought I'd fit into. Except when the dress came, it fit. Which filled me with a false sense of security. I regained the six pounds.

It didn't help that I also pretty much took June off from running. We did the half-marathon on June 2 and in the entire rest of June, I ran 1.5 miles. There was finishing up school, two weeks on Close Up, and packing to do. And there were end of school parties and going away parties.

So my approach is three-pronged: First, I sent back the wedding dress to exchange it for a size smaller. Pretty much everyone thought that was a terrible idea, particularly since even the one I had was by then too small. But clearly, I need the motivation of having to fit into a too-small dress. And it's not like I need to crash diet to make that happen. I've still got over five months to lose ten or fifteen pounds.

Secondly, I'm using an app Raj found called My Fitness Pal. It's not a new concept. People have been writing down what they eat and counting calories for years. The difference here is that you just search for your food or even scan the barcode on it and it counts the calories for you. You can even put in your own recipes. You also put in your exercise and it credits you with calories for that. You get a target number of calories per day based on your height, weight, activity level, and weight loss goal. It's been tremendously helpful in teaching me how much I should be eating, what a serving size is, and in keeping me from mindless snacking. It's also motivational when it comes to exercise, since I get so many more calories when I work out. Our scale arrives tomorrow, along with all the rest of our stuff (finally, just three days shy of a month from when they packed it) and then I can find out how it's been going so far.

And finally, I registered for a half-marathon training program that starts tonight. It's been hard to motivate myself to run more than a couple of miles at a time, now that I'm having to run by myself. And in looking back at my exercise log on Map My Run, I found that I'd done all of the long runs to train for the last half-marathon and almost none of the shorter midweek runs. So apparently a little more structure is in order for me. It'll also be nice to get some coaching and maybe meet some people who aren't Navy doctors training to be flight surgeons.

People have asked if I'm trying to lose weight for the wedding and I always say no, I'm trying to lose weight for life and also to fit back into my pants. I'd just prefer that the weight loss happen by December 29. Which I guess means that I'm a stereotype. And I guess I can live with that. After all, if the too-small dress fits, so should my too-small pants. Win, win.

Very Pinteresting: Wedding Edition

I've become a teensy bit addicted to the Weddings and Events section of Pinterest. Let us not speak of when this began, but know that it has certainly intensified since we began actually planning the wedding.

And I've found some really useful stuff there. Links to cheap vases you can buy in bulk. Flower and centerpiece ideas. A link to a Martha Stewart article that included the idea of using luminarias as decoration, which I would likely never have thought of on my own, despite the fact that they are huge in New Mexico (Raj's homeland) at Christmastime (the time of year we're getting married). Genius.

My very best find, courtesy of Pinterest, was the website A Practical Wedding, which I can just not recommend highly enough. Their tagline is: "weddings. minus the insanity, plus the marriage." Which is pretty much exactly what we're going for. A message they emphasize that works well for me is: don't let the Wedding Industrial Complex make you believe you MUST have/do/buy something you don't care about. For instance, I couldn't care less about having special toasting flutes for Raj and me. He doesn't care either, so we'll use the same champagne glasses everyone else does. Check that item off the list. I also love their Wedding Graduates posts, where women (mostly) share what they learned from their own weddings.

But of course not everything on Pinterest Weddings is so in keeping with my own personal taste. For instance, we will not be having any burlap, mustaches on sticks, or sand ceremony. There will be no mason jars. (I know, right? Am I sure we'll even be legally married?!?) I will not be wearing jewel-encrusted Christian Loubitin platform peep-toe heels. There will be NO CHALKBOARD PAINT WHATSOEVER. Also nothing heart-shaped because that is just not who we are. And no damask or toile because Raj hates them. Which is fine.

In general, I think people should do what they want for their weddings. Lots of people want mason jars and/or jewel-encrusted Christian Loubitin peep-toe platform heels to be part of their wedding and they should go ahead and have them. But I cannot support all bridal decisions so whole-heartedly. Which brings us to the following screed.

WOMEN OF PINTEREST:

That thing you want to decorate is the altar with two A's. Alter with an E is what you will do to your dress.

Please stop referring to your save the dates as your STDs. Ew.

Please, please, please stop referring to your bridesmaids as your BMs. Do you know what BM typically stands for? It's not pretty.

And really don't refer to them as or make them wear a bedazzed tank top calling them Brides Bitches. Or call them your 'maids. If you want bitches or maids, go to prison or a hotel.

And don't make them wear anything that makes them look like Bo Peep or a prostitute.

Also, that BRIDE track suit you want is good for, like, a day. Then what are you going to do with it?

Really, a unifying hair theme? (This one was braids. They'd all have braid-intensive hair. To unify.)

When you say PB, I think peanut butter, not Pottery Barn. So those PB filled votive candle holders sound not very flammable, but tasty.

Ok, fine this represents a matter of taste, but I find these deeply upsetting for reasons I do not fully understand. Maybe because they're pictured with a French pedicure, which I've always found similarly inexplicably creepy.

And finally, ladies, there's a lot of talk about MY wedding happening. Unless and until they change the law, you actually need two people for a wedding. So maybe at least pretend to think of it as OUR wedding. I'm speaking here to the gals planning actual and not hypothetical weddings on Pinterest. Sure, those of you thinking about a far off day with a mystery groom don't have to change the pronoun just yet.

In case you want to see, follow, or harshly judge my own pins, my Pinterest user name is Superfantastic. Naturally.

Our Superhero Duo Name: The Deciders

Raj and I are generally not terribly decisive people. Deciding where to go for dinner usually involves a lot of Whatever you want...It's up to you...What do you feel like...I don't care, what do you feel like...Whatever you want... So it worried me a little when I read people's stories of getting hung up for ages and ages on decisions related to their weddings. Would that be us?

First, we had to choose a location. We really wanted to have it at our first resort in Belize. It would be the most beautiful and laid-back wedding ever. Except there are only thirteen cabins and we couldn't make the math work. The next closest resort was a thirty minute drive over gravel roads that were a little dicey when we were there, during the dry season, and the date we were looking at was near the end of the rainy season. Also, we'd not only be asking people to fly to Belize, but to get passports if they didn't have them, immunizations that cost me around $200, and anti-malarial meds. We didn't want our wedding to be a huge pain in people's necks.

So we decided on Pensacola. I did a few days' worth of googling beach houses and sent Raj the one that looked the best. We briefly doubted the beach house plan and looked at more traditional venues. Then we went ahead and booked the beach house. The whole process took maybe five days. Sure, it likely would have gone on longer if we were able to make appointments and go actually view places, but I still don't see us dragging it out for very long.

One bride wrote about how they'd spent months trying to figure out their color scheme and were still unable to agree or settle on anything. I proposed navy and apple green to Raj. He gave me a hard time about it needing to be navy and orange since he went to Illinois. Then he agreed to my colors, though I don't think he's still particularly clear on what I mean by "apple". Another bride said her desire to not wear a veil had caused weeks of internal turmoil and lots negative comments from other people. I tell people that we'll be on the beach and I don't need a veil blowing all around. Nobody has questioned it.

Next up: save the dates. I looked at a few online and was narrowing down a couple that I really liked. Then I showed one to Raj that I thought was funny. As a joke. Ha ha, wouldn't it be funny if we got these. He said, actually, it would be pretty funny if we got those and I agreed. So we did. No going back and looking at anything else. Done. Check. (Also, let me just say that it's totally worthwhile to google "Coupon [Name of Company]" for anything you buy online. I saved 20% on our save the dates by using a coupon code I found online.)

I think this pretty well set the tone for our wedding planning. Find something we like. Go with it. Don't look back. The notion that everything must be absolutely perfect, thus you must research and consider every possible option seems to be what really drives people mad in this process. It's the brides on Say Yes to the Dress who can't commit to a dress because there might be a better dress out there somewhere who really seem to be miserable about the whole thing.

I did the wedding dress shopping on Saturday. And let me tell you, Internet, I was dreading it. The very idea of going to a bridal salon and having a stranger shove me into lots of dresses that I then have to parade out wearing to show a bunch of people made me ill. Especially when I've heard stories of They don't tell you how much it costs until you have it on. I was also concerned that I'd feel like I was playing dress up. Look, I'm wearing a bride costume! (Don't get me started on the word "bride". I feel like it's for 22 year-olds. Yes, I will be the bride in our wedding. I just can't think of myself as a bride for the next seven months.)

As much as I felt like I should at least make a couple of appointments at actual bridal shops, I just couldn't locate any enthusiasm for it. So I didn't. I made one appointment, at J Crew in Georgetown. I told the sales associate which dresses I liked from the website and she said she'd have them ready to go. You can only bring one or two people with you, due to space limitations, which was a-ok with me.

Katie picked me up at the Metro and, God bless her, handed me a thermal mug full of champagne. Which really took the edge off. We arrived, waited for the previous appointment to end while shopping the sale room, then went on in. There was a small fitting room with all of the dresses I'd chosen in it and an even smaller sort of vestibule outside it for Katie and Leah, the salesperson helping me. I'd put on a dress, only have to show it to two people (especially comforting since none of these dresses actually zipped up) then pass them off to Leah. Most were easy no's. One I thought I might have to purchase so they could cut it off me, but Katie was able to help me out of it. One I liked. One I loved.

It's elegant and pretty and simple and different and a little bit sexy. I felt giddy enough in it to feel like I wouldn't have any regrets about not trying on anything else. Leah was so very low pressure that she wrote the name down for me so I could call back and order it when I was ready. I ordered it on the spot. Done. Check. Let's go to lunch.

I'm sure at some point this wedding planning thing will become more complicated. At least that's what I keep telling myself, but maybe not. We're fortunate enough to have families who are happy to let us do what makes us happy. Thus far, nobody has pressured us about anything and if anybody thinks we're inconsiderate for asking people to travel over the holidays or insane to plan an outdoor wedding in late December, they're not sharing those thoughts with us.

So far, it's been a lot of checking things off the list, which let me tell you is one of my absolute favorite things to do. Just somewhere in the neighborhood of 247 decisions remaining.

Flowers are pretty.

That's a revelation that I had on my walk home tonight. I'm writing it down here for later, when I need to remember it. No, really.

See, I walk home from tutoring through a neighborhood full of flowers. All kinds. And while yes, I prefer some over others, each and every one of them is beautiful.

I plan to remind myself of this later, in case of wedding planning related insanity. Because it seems that planning a wedding turns normal, reasonable women into stark raving lunatics. Women who obsess over every last detail to the point of demanding that their bridesmaids tan to an exact shade. (Not only do I not understand the control freak aspect of this, I also don't know why you want your bridesmaids tan! If anything, I'd demand that my bridesmaids be pastier than me.) Women who call their wedding planners at all hours of the day and night. Women who, per things they pin on Pinterest, believe they need separate white lacy dresses for their shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, ceremony, and reception. Women who believe they neeeeeeeeed gardenias or the wedding will be RUINED, despite the fact that gardenias are like twenty dollars per flower.

I cannot honestly imagine myself turning into one of these women, but you can't be too careful. To combat this, we're working from the idea that a wedding is a party that you get to invite your favorite people to so you can celebrate with them. People at a party care about the food, drinks, music, and other people. They do not care about the font on your save the dates, the matchiness of the bridesmaids' hair, or the thread count of the table linens, as far as I can tell.

So our goal is to make ours a good party. We're shooting for small, personal, laid-back, and fun. Years and years ago, well before I met Raj, I had an idea while vacationing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. What if, for your wedding, you rented a big beach house? You could hang out with your guests for a few days, then walk over to the beach and get married, then walk back to the house and party. It would be different and not stuffy and allow for actually spending time with the people who travel to your wedding.

Which is exactly how Raj and I are doing it. Except in Florida instead of North Carolina, since we're moving to Pensacola in July. In the Navy, doctors can do a General Medical Officer (GMO) tour between internship and residency. They can be assigned to a ship, submarine, flight squadron, or to go with Marines as their medical officer. Raj chose flight, so he'll go to school in Pensacola for six months and then will be assigned somewhere for the following two years. We're hoping for Japan, though Hawaii is a very close second on our wish list.

So we rented a great big beach house for a few days around December 29, which is when we'll walk over to the beach and get married, then walk back to the house and party. It'll be a celebration, not only of the two of us committing to each other, but of all of the people who helped each of us become the person the other one wants to marry. How many times in your life do you get to have all (or most) of your favorite people together in one place? And there's cake!

And it won't matter whether the invitations coordinate with the escort cards or if I don't get my first choice of flowers. Because weddings are parties and flowers are pretty. All kinds.